A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I was just wondeing if I'm becoming a possessive girlfriend? Basically, whenever my boyfriend fails to talk to me (i.e start a conversation himself, text me) I feel as though he obviously doesn't want to make the effort and I'm forcing him to be with me by being the one to initiate everything. I know for a fact this is NOT true in the slightest; I know he wants to be with me etc, and is just really busy most of the time with uni work. We are both at uni together fbut for Easter we've both gone to our respective homes and I have no chance of seeing him for 2 weeks. Why do I feel like I need him to talk to me all the time like he used to when we first started dating? I know it's not going to be the same as the novelty has worn off, but I think about him so much and really miss him at times like these that it hurts when he doesn't make the effort. I really don't want to sound possessive, and complain to him, that I want him to think about me all the time and miss me like I do him. But I seem to get irrationally jealous when he meets his old school friends, like when he has a life basically and it's not about me - I HATE this about me. I know I should talk to him and ask him to make more of an effort, but when I'm with him I have nothing to complain about, because he's perfect and I feel mean, being ungrateful of the attention he gives me. It just feels like when we're not together, and he fails to see I'm online or something. It's like he's just forgotten about me and is ignoring me. I know what it's like to be on the wrong end of a possessive relationship, and I really don't want to be like this. is there any way I can let him be him and not get so upset, when his life doesn't revolve around me?
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 April 2011): I know how you are feeling. Im the same with my bf. I feel like im the one making all the effort as he is busy a lot.Just go with the flow, dont text him him first, wait till he texts you. Wait for him to arrange to see you or meet up with you.You just have to keep yourself busy with your life and your friends. Do you want a guy who's life revolves around you! How boring would that become, then you dont have your own space and do your own thing.Also when you do see each other its more exciting, because you havent seen him for a few days and you appreciate each other more and your time together.Just chill out about things more, dont let things he does upset you like seeing his friends or when hes online thinking hes ignoring you. Theres nothing more annoying than having a possessive gf or bf so dont become like that or you will push him away. Just relax.
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