A
male
age
30-35,
*ob28
writes:My wife wants to have a threesome with another woman, she said it really turns her on just thinking about it, but I want to have a threesome involving another guy. I don't know how to bring it up. I'm really wanting to make it happen but I don't know how she would react. We have strap-on sex all the time but I would like to try the real thing and share another guy with her
View related questions:
threesome Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (15 October 2014): have a 4some? 4somes are more fun all round.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 October 2014): You've written for advice; so I'm going to give it to you straight.
You're both looking for permission to have quasi-gay-sex outside your marriage; and you're letting your lustful fantasies override your better judgment. What exactly is the point of vows and all that legal stuff? Like staying faithful isn't hard enough. So you really think your marriage is strong enough to handle it? I wager it's not. Just by the direction you're both taking it.
Some people only look at the sexual-side of it; without considering the emotional consequences. Why bother getting married, if you wanted an open-relationship?
Inviting outsiders into your bedroom is going to eat away at your trust. The inevitable emotion of jealousy is usually what sets-in, and brings everyone back to reality.
You may give-in to your primal urges; but both genders have inherent primitive-instincts to be territorial over your mate. Seeing someone else getting better sexual-responses or organisms than you can, is a good way to awaken these instincts. You'll view your partner differently, and not necessarily in a positive way.
Nature has a way of punishing us for behaving like the lower species. I don't care how much the freaks argue and advocate how okay it is. I've read some of the rubbish they publish. Track them down and find out how long their marriages lasted beyond their articles or book-publishings; and there goes their credibility. In cultures where polygamy is practiced; just how happy are the "extras" knowing there's a favorite among them?
Yes, you'll read anecdotes about how people get along so great doing it. You'll never get to witness it as a fly on the wall. Multiple-partners increases the risk of sexually-transmitted diseases; and having someone come along and stealing your spouse!
It always goes well at first. Eventually these freaky alternative lifestyles degenerate into a mire of drugs, alcohol, sex-addiction, disease, and scandal.
If you're bored with each other, or discovering you're both bisexual; it is likely introducing new partners to satisfy your urges, will separate you eventually. The novelty will get the better of you. How will you guarantee the extra-partner will remain discreet and get lost after the tryst?
Either of you witnessing your spouse getting sexual-pleasure from a stranger is hot in theory; but will eventually create insecurities. What if emotional-attachment occurs for a third-party who knows how to push all the right buttons? The guest just may become your replacement! The better lover gets all the attention!
Fantasies always play-out great from the start. As time passes; one person starts to like it more than the other.
That's when you've got a mess on your hands.
...............................
A
male
reader, no nonsense Aidan  +, writes (13 October 2014):
So you essentially want completely different things. Tell her however you like, you’ll only be introducing a huge divide in to your relationship. Fantasies are best kept as fantasies and both of you should focus on enjoying each other and finding ways to spice things up and keep the passion alive. They don’t say 3 is a crowd for nothing. Leave this as a fantasy.
I wish you all the very best.
...............................
A
male
reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (13 October 2014):
 Short answer, you don't try to have threesomes of any kind except in porn flicks. Forget it. It dosen't turn out well.
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (13 October 2014): Try both? Begin by just doing the threesome with the other woman, and then just bring it up casually. If she trusts you (which I think she does as she married you and all) , she'll probably make no more of it and try.
...............................
|
