A
female
age
30-35,
*atie-cola
writes:Sorry to bother everyone again. I was dating a guy for over 3 years and we broke up. Recently, we have just been like seeing each other to see how things go. But when he is drunk, he turns ugly, and speaks to me like crap! I fell out with him, but he refused to properly admit he was wrong, saying it was just the alcohols fault. I do understand this took up part of it, but was upset he could not accept his actions, even though he did say sorry! We felt out and have still not make friends. I went to his the other night, and got ignored, and felt like he didnt want me anymore. We had a discussion over msn the other night and we got into a massive argument. He started saying he was back with his ex and has been for 4 months (which i think was a lie) but he still loves me. He told me if i ever contacted him again, i would regret it. I dont understand how he can treat me like this after 3 years. Any suggestions to what i should do??Im not a girl who likes leaving things uncivil most of the time, but i am giving up on him now, as we have had too many arguments!! He has never trusted what i say and has always got jealous, so i dont believe we can even be friends. Sorry for the rant, but any help, i would love! Thanks x
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broke up, drunk, his ex, jealous, msn Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Katie-cola +, writes (23 June 2008):
Katie-cola is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for your help with this one guys. I really do appreciate it. Its been hard trying not to get in contact with him, but im staying strong. Hopefully ill find someone right when the time is right. Thanks again. x
A
female
reader, duskyrowe +, writes (22 June 2008):
 Alcohol dependance can play a major problem in any relationship, I know because I divorced my husband over this. When he was sober he was the best husband any woman could have, but when he drank too much he was a vile foul mouthed thug.Please darling get away from this guy as soon as possible, he has no respect for your feelings whatsoever and will only bring you down further.You are too young to handle a thug like him, you should find a man who will treat you accordingly.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 June 2008): Hi, Katie, I am sorry you are going through this, it is hard to let someone go who has been a part of our lives for three years. I can tell you really like him or you would not overlook the bad behavior, the problem with alchohol and the mistreatment of you....but I can't help but notice you started this post with "I am sorry to bother you, and you ended it with sorry for the rant."
Don't be a sorry person, this is an advice forum for goodness sake, it is what we are here for, no apology necessary. The fact that you do this tells me this guy has beaten you down and lowered your self esteem.
From what you tell me, he probably is back with his ex, and has been stringing you two along at least for the last 4 months, he is telling you who he is and you had better listen, he is telling you that you will regret getting in contact with him, and from what I can see he is spot on.
He sounds like an immature jerk with a substance abuse problem. You are way too young to take his problems on...trust me you need to stop having any contact with this one as hard as it may be...you deserve someone who cherishes you and makes you feel good about yourself, not some jerk tearing you down like this....what would be a tragedy is not that you lost a three year relationship, but that you stayed for three years and a day....you are wasting your very love life and your heart on this one, let him go, gather your support from your family and friends and move on to something and someone better. They call em exes for a reason and you are not required to be his friend.
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