A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I met this man back in October by chance-- I saw him sitting on a bench , reading a book and taking notes in the margin. I was immediately drawn to him because my husband was a writer and often scrawled in the margins of his books (my husband died over a year ago). I asked what he was reading and from there bloomed a friendship of sorts. Twice a week when I would run, I would find him in the same place at the same time. We would sit and chat about everything. We would laugh and share some of the dark moments of our personalities. I felt it immediately from the first encounter, and I had a feeling he felt it too. The problem is he and his gf bought a house together last year before we met. I know my boundaries and accepted that we could only be friends. So we have. Still, I sense this jealousy about him when I talk about other men. He becomes snide and rude. He calls or texts almost daily, but when I discuss maybe dating someone, he always finds ways to ridicule these men. He even has a friend he mentioned who is single and a really cool guy--so I asked him to set us up. He was taken by surprise but said --uhh, yeah maybe. Then never brought him up again. So recently I decided to try something.I told him that this certain man I had talked about before and I started dating, and I really like him. Then I even told him that I didn't appreciate his rude comments because this guy is a really great guy. So he texts me that this guy doesn't know me like he does and that he doesn't believe he is worthy. ??????? Then I get this :"You know I'm your soulmate". Ok... I do know that, I have felt it from the moment we met, but he has the live-in GF. How can he feel he is my soulmate, but be living with someone else? Totally confused.
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male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (4 June 2011):
 I agree with Eyes. This situation warrants clear and direct conversations.
A
female
reader, Trinklett  +, writes (3 June 2011):
 I think you should stop running on this route or do so at a different time. This man has a GF and I guess he made up his mind to be with her. Yes you could meet someone special write after you're living or even engaged to someone. Since they aren't married he could still give up the house if he really wants to be with you. Let him take that decision. Give him some space and of course time. If he wants you badly I'm convinced he'll come calling but if he doesn't, then he's made he's choice. Don't wait for 'as long as it takes'. Give it a time limit and then move on. I bet there's another great guy out there looking for love.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 June 2011): So men and women can't be friends? Doesn't sound like anything sexual has happened here. Also, Isn't it possible to actually meet "the one" after you are already in a relationship? Should he just settle being with his girlfriend or possible pursue his "soul mate"? I think if he doesn't pursue this, he might be another fool marrying or settling for convenience. Maybe I am a little cynical but who is to say that someone can't find his or her real love when in another relationship. As long as nothing sexual has or does occur in the meantime, I am anxious to see where this goes. I love true love stories.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 June 2011): I feel so sorry for this man girlfriend, she has no idea what is going on between you two right under her nose. How would you feel if your husband had started up a friendhsip with a woman? then told her she was his soulmate? how would you have felt?
If this man was so great he would break up with his girlfriend, not embark on an emotional affair with another woman.
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (3 June 2011):
 You should ask him that exact question.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (3 June 2011): You're right, it doesn't add up does it. He's with the woman he loves and that's why they share their lives together..more than just an hour or so here and there at a public park. Soul mate carries no obligation or commitment so it's relatively easy to just throw it out there for a man. What expectation is there of a soul mate?Hmmm..fantasy and more fantasy.
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