A
female
age
,
*aryB
writes:I was with my ex for 7 yrs. and engaged for 2 of those yrs. We had plans to marry July 4th weekend 2010 but, 1 mth. before that my ex broke it off with me only stating that he was not happy and needed a break. I of course pleaded with him to change his mind (big mistake I know) and he even stayed in contact with me for 2 wks. after giving hope that he would change his mind. Shortly there after it came to light that he had met someone else and although they did not get involved until after the breakup he definitely had his eye on her before. Now I feel he kept me hanging on afterwards until he was sure it would work out with them. Needless to say I am devastated, have lost a lot of weight, go through each day as if in a fog and although things are getting better I still can't stop thinking of him and still hoping he will come back to me. I also, cannot figure out how he can go from loving me, planning on marrying me and even buying me flowers which he did often 2 days before ending it to professing his love and marriage to someone else in a matter of 5 mths. I have severed all contact with him since the day I found out about her although, he has been seen on several occasions driving by my house- his job is on the other side of town and he lives with her in the opposite direction than me so I can only conclude he is checking up on me. I am confused as to why since I just recently read on her facebook that he gave to her what she claims is an engagement ring back in Aug. The ring as she describes it is a emerald ring with diamond chips around it which I find odd-the ring he gave me was all diamonds with a matching wedding band. That is neither her nor there of course but, what confuses me is that none of our friends had any knowlege of his engagement- one of our friends works for my ex and he too had no clue. Why is he not rejoicing as he did when we became engaged and can this relationship end up in marriage when it was founded on lies and deception- she had no clue about me or that we had been engaged and together for so many years. His family whom I have remained close to continue to tell me they have their doubts but, they may be just saying that to spare my feelings. They have told me she's really naive and extremely needy which may be the reason she accepts the fact that he was dishonest with her in the beginning, also. I know that I should just move on as he has but, I still love him very much and am wishing that their relationship will not last. Is there still a chance somehow to turn this around or am I just fooling myself? I feel like I was never given the chance to fight for a relationship in which I gave my heart and soul to. Please, any insight and advise would be appreciated!
View related questions:
a break, engaged, facebook, flowers, move on, my ex, wedding Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (22 September 2010):
 Hi to be honest this sounds as if your fella just got cold feet and freaked out a little bit. You would be surprised at how many men cheat on there partners before a wedding due to them being scared of commitment. But you need to be honest with yourself first, if he came back to you would you be able to trust him? are you sure you wouldnt keep reminding him of what he done to you and drift a wedge between you'se? If you really honestly think that there could be a chance that you'se could be happy again, then maybe sit down and write him a letter and tell him how you feel explain to him that you would be willing to give things another go if he wants. Then its up to him to make the decision but dont rely to much on this and if he doesnt come back to you least you no you done everything that you can and also you need to just not contact him again, start going out and socializing and meeting new people. you will soon forget all about him through time. good luck.
A
male
reader, rolfen  +, writes (22 September 2010):
 You did well. Begging him not to to break off was a good thing, in the light of what happened after. You must have sensed what he was up to and did your best to save him and yourself.
She can have her diamond ring or whatever, you will have a real man worth a million rings.
Maybe he ignores how you feel. I would say let him know that he left you in hell, but avoid by any means to make it sound like you're pleading with him to get back. And pray that you two stay separated, because, let's face it, you have decided to end it, rightfully so, yet are still in love with the person you thought him to be.
It's going to be OK, stay cool. We're all here for you, keep talking and sharing your feeling. It's going to be OK.
...............................
|
