A
male
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:I have been having love trouble forever. I used to like people a lot, but after heartbreak, I haven't had the guts to fall in love again. I do want to fall in love, but I am a bit afraid of what can happen along with it, as well as what other people think of me and how it will make me feel. To come along with it, I began masturbating and even watching porn when I was 14, since it helps me feel a bit better about not having a girlfriend, and anything that makes me feel unhappy about myself whatsoever. I'm pretty shy (not very quiet), and my appearance doesn't really compliment my kindness, and I need advice on having a relationship. I've been untouched in every way possible, and I'm worried that I will always be alone when I get older...can someone give me any advice?
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 May 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks! I'll see how that can help me.
A
male
reader, loveonce  +, writes (5 May 2011):
 Quite a nice Discussion..b/w TasteofIndia and you.Hopefully your most of the problems would be solved soon..and ya I Do have a Deep Interest in Psychology,though i am an Engineering Graduate in IT,just for the sake of your Knowledge.. carry on.. :)
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female
reader, TasteofIndia +, writes (5 May 2011):
 All of those places. Get creative, start asking around, write to the head of your department on your online school, look for fliers, looking in your local paper for the stuff going on around town. Look on Craigslist, see what classes and volunteer stuff they have going on. Walk into any community theater and say - hey, I'd like to volunteer.
Everywhere is looking, but they walk up to your doorstep and find you, unless they're Jehovah's Witnesses. So go see what's available. I swear, getting involved with stuff is instant socializing! Good luck!
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 May 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWhere would I be able to do that? Library? Summer Programs? Mall?
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female
reader, TasteofIndia +, writes (5 May 2011):
Get out and do stuff that's beyond school. There's community theater. Habitat For Humanity. Book Clubs. Sailing class. Martial Arts. Bowling leagues. Community College classes. Kickball teams. Gamer groups. Yoga class. Catch my drift? Plenty of things to do, it's just a matter of going out and doing it!
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 May 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks, but what if I'm a online school student?
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female
reader, TasteofIndia +, writes (4 May 2011):
Don't label yourself and don't think you'll scare people away.
My advice is to get involved with more stuff. Why not join your school theater or a community theater and do crew (or acting if you're gutsy)? They can always use people - and there's a real shortage of guys in the drama field. The more stuff you get involved with, the more you're forced to interact and people will get to know you. It's also a less demanding way of making friends for YOU because it doesn't force you to approach people in random situations and start talking. You're already in a group, you're already working towards a common goal - you'll have to get to know each other. So, less pressure on you!
It doesn't really matter what it is, as long as you try and get out there and do something with other people. The opportunities to chat will arise naturally.
You sound like a sweetheart and a half. You're exactly the kind of friend/boyfriend people are out there searching for. Good luck!
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 May 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you, Ms. "TasteofIndia". Your answer was pretty good. Although, I needed more advice on actually talking to people and making friends. I am what they call an "outcast" in highschool, and although I'm a good person, I'm worried if I talk to a random person, it might scare them away. Is there any advice you can give on that (or someone else, for that matter) ?
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female
reader, TasteofIndia +, writes (3 May 2011):
Heartbreak happens. Happens to the best of us, happens to the worst of us. Heartbreak is just life. So don't let heartbreak take you down so far that you're out for the count. It's like falling off the horse - you just have to get back on. It's okay to suffer for a little while, but then it's time to get positive again and back into the game. Try socializing more and being open to meeting new people and new potential mates. Don't focus on "I'm going to be alone forever" - that will only happen if you convince yourself it's going to. You are young, sweet and (I suspect) have a lot of love to give and life to live. You've got plenty of time to find someone right for you. I'll leave on this note - the reality is, with every single relationship you'll ever be in - you'll either break up, or you'll die. So there's going to be a lot of breaking up before you find your forever. It's just part of the process.I don't know about 'loveonce', but I'm a double major: theater and psychology, and I'm just about done with the degrees. In the case that you wanted to know about me too! Best of luck to you!!
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 May 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the question@loveonce : Are you into psychology?
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male
reader, loveonce +, writes (3 May 2011):
If you repeat a mistake then,you probably did not learn a lesson from the past one.
do try to analyse,what went wrong previously,what exactly do you want out of a relation..and what qualities should be their in your partner...as you are younger and do not want to get trapped...get a bit matured and search for a true love cautiously..means open yourself to some one who deserves you..
and you are not gonna live alone forever..kick it out of your head..enjoy the energy which this age is bestowing you..and do not be Negative.
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