A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:My husband is struggling with impotence, with no medical causes,or known reasons. It suppose to be psychological,but we don't know how to go about that. He seem to feel very bad about this, but We just stuck,we have no other idea what could be wrong. There was lots of investigation ,but no result.Now I started to be worried, as I don't want the marriage end, or to do something I would regret. I have a fear ,he will leave me with someone ,who turns him on. Also I have very hard time sharing the bad with him, as I feel we are drifting further.. Sometimes I crave affection real bad, And I don't know ,if I can deal with this pain much longer. My biggest dilemma is , how can the marriage survive with no sex,or affection?I'm very reserved,morally stable person, i do want to stay with him, but I'm not too sure it is really the best idea, as we both develop more emotional problems in the unconscious. He is ashamed, and afraid, and I'm sad and insecure.My fear is ,even I want it so bad to work,we might just fall apart. I think sometimes someone can walk in and get him to bed. And he would not believe its is happening. Or, I develop some sexual problems. This are basic instincts, how you go with this? Please keep in mind, I tried it hard ,also, I'm not an easy street girl.. thank you
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 February 2008): Thanks,very good advice sandman. He seem to have those erections at night, and he still want to believe,there is something wrong with him medically.I think ,he is in denial. It looks very painful and long process, dealing with uncertainties.I do love him, but I don't want to get hurt.Dear pyan!would you mind to tell me, what was working for you? ThanksThanks for all of you.
A
female
reader, thatgothgirl20  +, writes (11 February 2008):
 A marriage cannot survive without affection, but I believe that it can survive without sex. Both of you are experiencing natural feelings. You should both be reassurances to each other. He needs to reassure you over and over that he will not cheat, and you need to reassure him over and over that you love him no matter what. Maybe he's had some issues in his past that he might not be ready to reveal to you and maybe a psychologist would help.
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A
male
reader, pyan  +, writes (11 February 2008):
Hi
ou are not alone with this issue and you should rush in. its nobodies fault and lots of med go through it. i did last year and my wife had the same issue as you.
she thought i was seening another women and all kinds. my fist advise is.
1 see the doctor (which i think you have done) and get checked out.
2 talk, talk and talk.
i didn't tell my wife and tried to hide it from her, but she know somthing was wrong. ( i can explain more if you message me)
once i told my wife about it fully, i felt much better and thing over time came back.
everyone is ok with me know and i think we are better for what happend. if you can talk about it you can open other doors that will help you both through it. how strong is your marrage and do you love each other.
good luck and message if i can help
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A
male
reader, Sandman +, writes (11 February 2008):
 First of all, let me say that I deeply sympathize what is going on with you and your husband.
If your husband is having a problem with impotence that has no medical or physical cause, you would need to have that diagnosis given to you by a doctor. A simple test done on your husband can determine whether or not it is physical. What they do is place a type of band (paper or other material) around his penis when it is flaccid (soft). When he sleeps, if the band is found to be broken when he awakes, then it is determined that he achieved an erection while sleep and thus the issue with impotence IS psychological. (Men by nature achieve somewhere between one to three erections while asleep.)
If your husband however fails the test, then you can probably say that the issue is physical in some way - but again, that would need to be determined by a doctor.
Can a marriage survive without sex or affection? It depends. I do think a marriage MIGHT survive without sex but not without affection. However, it is important to note that sex plays a very large part in a healthy marriage and without it the marriage may be doomed to failure. You as a couple must determine for yourselves if sex is that important to your marriage. There are other ways to spend time with each other without engaging in sex - you'll have to find ways to replace what it lost with something else.
It is important to get medical professionals to aid you in which direction to go. If it is something simple which can be fixed through perhaps medication or some other type of therapy, then you can begin to enjoy your sex life again. If you truly love your husband and don't want to leave, let him know your concerns and that you will stay by his side until a cure is found. Love is what he needs. And so do you.
Hope this helps.
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