A
female
age
30-35,
*pendy
writes:Why would guy be so selfish and hurt me so much:(? Am fuming!! I loved my ex boyfriend so much. I thoight we were in love and had a deep meaningful relationship, but he was faking it all the while! He dumped me saying he doesn't want a relationship and he I found out that he cheated on me with 2girls whiles we were together. 4weeks later he rang me to ask if we can be friends, cos he says he's moved on, he's got a **** buddy now. but I still loved him so I told him I can't. and is been a month and I've not heard from him since. But is ok, cos I've been so busy I don't think about him anymore. I just found out I've got STI.. He gave them to me cos I was celibate for 2yrs before I got with him and I've always been careful and not the kind of girl that believes in casual sex. How can a guy be so selfish and hurt me so much. I don't even wanna get close to guys anymore:( should I say anything to him?Thanks..x
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 June 2011): I was also hurt and fooled by my ex boyfriend but his sad behaviour made me more determined to break free from him and take the love i had and give it to a guy worthy of it so should you
A
male
reader, Wheeler  +, writes (29 June 2011):
 It is not a guy thing! People can be brutally selfish, and the worst part is that those people are usually extremely good at hiding this until it is too late.
Being selfish is just part of a narcissistic worldview. If you haven't yet heard of the word "narcissism" be sure to look it up and learn the symptoms. Once it has a name and symptoms it is easier to recognize!
Ever meet someone that only seems to care about themselves, no matter what the situation? They engage in hurtful behavior towards others that you would NEVER do, yet seem completely unaware? You find yourself asking, "how can someone do this to someone else?!"
Narcissistic people seem to be oblivious to the feelings of others. What is scary is that having empathy for others is a basic human characteristic. Not being able to understand the effect your actions have on another person is a trait narcissistic people share with pathological liars and even serial killers!
And believe me, it can feel like you are dealing with a monster!
These people completely ruin the dating experience for those unlucky enough to become involved with them.
I am not sure what you mean by STI, I assume it is another terminology for STD? If so (and I hope I didn't misunderstand!) I am very sorry that you have to go through this because of the selfishness of someone else. Did you know it is actually a crime if he was aware that he had an STD and engaged in sexual activity with you without informing you first?
You did the right thing by moving on! You can't expect him to change. It is understandable that you want him to know what he did was wrong, and to know how much you have been hurt. The fact that you can let that go and move on speaks to your own strength.
The challenge you now face is not letting this awful experience keep you from loving and trusting someone else in the future. That is not how "guys are", and that is not how you deserve to be treated.
I hope the best for you as you overcome this very difficult chapter in your life.
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A
female
reader, chickpea2011 +, writes (29 June 2011):
 Hi,
Sorry that you're so angry (rightfully so) and feeling this way. My dear, you're not the only one who's been cheated on..we all have our personal stories and experiences. Believe me... They're all the same story, same lies, same betrayal, same bs. Its like boys have a black book that teach them how to cheat, they all sounds the same.
You know the phrase: "live and learn" cheesy, but true. He's a boy, not a man. He has low standards and no character. No integrity, don't know the meaning of the word moral. This is him, he'll never change. No class and selfish. He was lucky to have a good girl like you and be grateful that this relationship is over.
I read a lot about cheating, why, narcissistic people and I've learned that is just the way they're. Maybe, how they were raised, but its all him, not you. So don't blame yourself, don't blame innocent good boys that you might meet in the future. Don't let this insignificant person stop you with future boyfriends.
I am happy and proud that you're so strong. You're doing the right thing keeping yourself busy. Do things that make you happy, be surrounded by people that appreciate you and makes you happy.
You're very young, with time you'll meet some not very nice people, but don't ever let these people interfer with your life and decisons.
I don't need to give you any advice, because I can see that you're a beautiful, young woman. Have self respect and very smart. I see a beautiful, successful future for you.
Don't waste any more time being angry.. Forgive the looser, laugh... I say forgive, because this is what you need to do in order to let go of the anger and move on..
Pls, take care of your std, before it gets worse. Really a looser.. Matches his personality, disease, I am just sorry that u caught from him. Hope u heal soon
Don't try to make sense of nonsense. :-)
When you least expect you'll find someone wonderful, that deserves you and will love u and respect u.
Good luck!
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