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age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: Hi all, this is a question about my relationships within my familymy parents have been breaking up on and off all my life, they don't normally stay apart for longer than a few months and it's fine me and my sister can handle it because my mum couldn't get a job if her life depended on it (quite literally) so she needs my dad if she wants anywhere to live.The things that's changed recently and has made me seek some help is that the other night when we were talking at tea about a possible family holiday I said that I didn't really want to go anymore as I'm old enough to stay at home (and with my little sister being 14 we just argue all the time). When I said it my mum just ran out the room and my dad started screaming at me saying stuff like "have you never noticed that your mum is suffering from depression!?!?" . Well I hadn't I thought that due to her past that's just how she was...How do you help someone who is depressed, I know I said about her not being able to get a job etc but I do still respect her and love her so I want to help her, I don't really need any help about my dad because he just has affairs and doesn't support her so I find it hard to really care about him.
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female
reader, Tashie08  +, writes (2 June 2010):
Sorry to hear about your mum being depressed, been there with my own mother and it isn't an easy task dealing with someone with depression i can promise you. I think your best bet is to talk to your mum on your own, have a heart heart about everything.
It sounds like she's got a lot going on in her head. It sounds like shes go herself stuck in a cycle with how her lifes gone, she feels unable to get a job because she's depressed, then your dad cheats etc which makes it worse, and probably feels as though she has to stay with your dad to make sure you children are provided for, which makes her depression worse.
Make sure that if you do talk to her, you let her get everything off her chest (you'll probably want a box of tissues as well)
You might want to aslo explain as gently as possible that you do love her, you just don't want to go on a family hliday, because you're gtting older and want a litlle it of independance.
I do think you mum may need to see a councellor though, and she's going to need support from you and your sister as it sounds like your mum could do with splittin up from your dad for good, and tha will involve life changes.
I hope this is helpful to you, and i hope that this situation gets sorted out soon. Just remember to be gentle with what you say to your mum, the more understnding and willing to understand you sound, the more sh is going to open p. But don't push her, if she doesn't wnt to talk to you, perhaps suggest the counselling in a calm and gentle way. I'm sure that will help her.
Good luck and best wishes x
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