A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:hi i have been going out with a guy for the last six years we spend only weekends together and met up once a week because he is in the army. now for the last month he was off and out of the blue he said that he wanted a relationship break to think things over and that. cause he loves me but not in love with me but he doesn't want to break up.On Sunday i wanted to met up to take about the break further but he was going hill walking with his mates and it was to hard to see me. i met up with him on Tuesday in a food place. and i was a little bit to happy mainly because i was glad to see him. he wants to come to a gig at the end of the month but still wants the break and no contact what do i do? did i hurt his feelings? by being happy about it is he just taking the mickey?
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male
reader, Fatherly Advice  +, writes (2 June 2010):
 I think you are on the wrong track with your thinking. Closing on 25, in a relationship for 6 years, got his career figured out. I'd say he is contemplating settling down. But he is not sure you are the one.
The relationship is a difficult one. When you are together you feel close but during the separations you drift and the feelings fade. This is giving him some confusion.
Every weekend is probably fine for your emotional needs, but it isn't quite working for him. Also he may be thinking about someone else.
Whatever it is, he needs some space to figure it out. He has set a solid date with you at the end of the month. So he is committed to get an answer for you by then. In the mean time he is hiking with his guy friends which, BTW, is a great way to think objectively.
You need to give him the space and not be pestering. Don't start dating someone else until the end of the month. I know you were looking forward to this month. It is too bad that he is too insensitive to see that part. I guess that the Army is just too intense for him to do this kind of thinking while on duty.
If he decides that he wants to move on it is because he sees that after 6 years this is not moving forward and you both need to be free to find a permanent partner. It is in it's own way a caring answer.
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