A
female
age
26-29,
*ittlemisshelpful
writes:Hey guys, I could really do with some insight into my dilemma! I've been best friends with my best guy friend for many years, and it's clear that we're inseparable.He's a little older than me, but this has never effected our relationship.After a few years, I started to develop some really strong feelings for him, and ended up falling in love with him. Long story short, we had many deep conversations and came go the conclusion that we'd fallen in love with eachother but it was best for our friendship if we were to just stay friends. Months went by and I couldn't take it anymore.. I proposed the idea of us dating seeing as we basically act like a couple anyway.. There's even some intimacy there. We've always been very touchy and affectionate but that's moved on to other stages since then. We've now been dating for about a week, and things seem to be going okay, but I just don't know how to act any more? I feel awkward and unsure of our future and I'm scared to put my heart into it Incase he ends up changing his mind or finds someone else. He's recently become close to a woman who he met a while back and I'm nervous he'll regret us dating and wish he'd have waited for her instead. This is my first proper serious relationship and I'm aware I'm probably very insure too.. I could just do with some reassurance and advice please. I don't want to lose my best friend, but I'm in love with him and want to be with him at the same time.. Very confusing. Thank you!
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female
reader, Tisha-1  +, writes (21 December 2013):
 "Long story short, we had many deep conversations and came go the conclusion that we'd fallen in love with eachother but it was best for our friendship if we were to just stay friends."
I have to agree with devont, this doesn't sound quite right.
If he's protecting the friendship instead of really pursuing or wooing you as a romantic partner that really means that he's not seeing you as a girlfriend.
How much older is he?
Do you have other friends?
A guy who says to a girl that he wants to stay just friends and then acts like an extremely reluctant boyfriend when things do get intimate sounds like a guy who just isn't really in love, sorry.
I'd try to relax, enjoy his company and not have too many expectations.
A
male
reader, devont +, writes (20 December 2013):
 ...'we'd fallen in love with eachother but it was best for our friendship if we were to just stay friends'...I'm sorry, I don't understand this. If you were in love with each other, why would you worry about your friendship? Surely you'd be more concerned with you blossoming romance...? Just a query. How were you acting before? Were you holding hands? Kissing? Going on dates, just the two of you? Sleeping together? All of these things are part of a romantic relationship although the last one should not be rushed. Now you're a couple you can be even more intimate with him. Just see how it goes. I wouldn't worry about this other woman unless he gives a reason to- he's with you, not her! Has this relationship with her really developed that notably in the last week since you've been together?! He has chosen you, keep telling yourself that. I'm sure everything will work out between you, just take it slow, ease yourself into being a couple, remember what separates friends from lovers... Try not to worry too much about where the relationship is going, just enjoy how it is now. All the best.
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