A
female
age
30-35,
*rincessmamma
writes:Ive been with my gf on and off for a little over a year our longest time weve been together was eight months. We broke up the first few times bcuz she was cheating on me with her ex of six years. I found out by digging into a few things i called her ex n told her what was going on n she said the same things my gf was telling me i felt pretty stupid n left her and explained to her i wasnt going to take her back unless she left her ex and stopped talking to her i knew that if she kept talking to her while we were together i would feel insecure and not trust her. Things went on for a bit she was dating her ex and we were messing around bcuz i couldnt help myself i loved her so much. I couldnt stand not being with her and at that point i didnt care. Then it got to me and i wanted her to chose bcuz i knew she couldnt be with two people the rest of her life. She finally broke up with her ex and we started back up. Shortly after i caught her talking to her ex i got upset that nite and to get back at her i drank a whole bottle of wine n ended up having sex with a guy i started dating shortly after that i found out i was pregnant with twins. She and i didnt talk for a couple weeks and finally we spoke again. I ended up leaving my bf within that two weeks bcuz i knew i still loved her and couldnt be with him until i was over her. Her and i agreed to be friends but the few days into our friendship that moment happend and i just lost control completely falling back in the same spot i was. We ended up dating again. Everything was good for about a month n then she went on this spree for three weeks ignoring me barely coming to see me i finally broke it off cuz i felt neglected n completely alone. I started dating this guy id known for awhile and agreed to marry him and move in with him after only a few days. I knew it was only bcuz i wanted her to see i was good to her and someone else would take me if she wouldnt bcuz i could give that goodness to someone else. She completely lost it when she found out i was engaged. After a few days she let me know various ways that it bothered her and she didnt want me with someone else that i was her baby n no one elses and i always would be. The three weeks that i was with him n packing up my house to move we got caught up in that moment again and kinda started seeing each other again. But at the same time i would still tell my bf i loved him n talk to him on the phone so she would know she was losing me bcuz of how she treeated me. She broke down a few times and bawled telling me she missed me n she loved me n she was so sorry and she was a horrible person for doing that to me. I like this bcuz it made me feel like she finally realized how good i was to her n what she was losing. I ended up breaking up with him bcuz he flaked out on me and im secretly glad he did bcuz i didnbt want to move away from her bcuz i loved her so much. Not even 3 days later we were back togetheer a couple weeks later she proposed and i accepted. Everything has been so good excpet for a few minor trust things on my part. Weve been communicating more spending more time together she just cant get enough of me we hate being apart. Recently shes had to stay with her parents bcuz of the bad weather. Weve missed each other so much texting and talking on the phone everyday. She even came up with this thing when i say i love her. She says (promise i say promise she says swear i say swear she says never break my heart i say never break ure heart) makes my heart skip everytime. Today we got to hang out for a bit for the first time in a few days. We went to her aunts house and she kept getting these texts that looked like they were irritating her. I knew by the look on her face it was her ex. I asked her what she was hiding and she said nothing so i dropped it. Later she took me home bcuz she said she had to help her dad. As we were nearing my house she got a phone call i knew it was her ex by the ringtone she has set she told me not to say anything. They were talking like great friends when she told me they hadnt talked for a few days bcuz her ex was upset that she didnt want tro be with her she even said she loved her. Her ex was in town with a friend. She hung up the phone and kissed me on the cheek and said she would come back later. After she left upset a little by the call i texted her asking her what was going on she said nothing shell tell me later cuz its to long to text. Later i called her and asked her again what was going on she said she has to talk to her ex like that or shell get upset. I asked if she even knew her and i were together and she says kinda she has an idea. She asked if the whole ordeal upset me and i said yes alittle. She said im sorry babe but u dont have to worry i love u. Since then ive texted her and called her a few times asking if shes going to come home tonight. No answer. Bcuz of the past its hard for me to trust her im really working on it. I know she loves me and my kids and wants to be with me and she says everythings different and im the love of her life and she wants to spend the rest of her life with me. But all day today ive been worried that shes been with her ex. I dont want to lose her again bcuz i love her so much but i dont know what to do. Someone please help before i make myself more sick worrying. Thanks
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broke up, engaged, her ex, insecure, text Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Princessmamma +, writes (2 December 2010):
Princessmamma is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks guys. No i wouldnt be able to go and its probably a good thing bcuz it would be a huge cat fight. I really dont like the ex or the way she treated my gf. Ya they talk but when shes around me she keeps it to a minimum it only bothers me sometimes when they talk on the phone. But at least she respects me enough to go outside. She calls very rarely when im with her though. Im not worried about it she loves me and ui love her. My favorite is when she says u know im in love with u right babe i love when she says that bcuz the look in her eyes and the way she says it i know she means it. Im trying to work on my trust so far so good. This is a brand new relationship and she hasnt done anything for me not to trust her. I can see alot of change in her. Thanks guys for the help i know this is only a site but i really feel like u guys r my great friends. Thank u. Guess what i went to the drs and i found out im having two baby girls. My daughter is so excited and us to. Thanks for all ure help and support. And being pregnant ya i am emotional lol much love :)
A
female
reader, largentsgirl89 +, writes (28 November 2010):
 Its cool that her and her ex have been friends for six years, but they aren't together anymore and there is a reason why they aren't with each other anymore. I don't understand why she has to have contact with her ex.
They have been through a lot together, but you two are having a baby and are currently going through a lot together, well at least you should be, it doesn't sound like she is around all that often.
She has started a new life with you. Not her ex. I don't think her ex should be involved. It's completely understandable (at least to me) why you are upset over her meeting her ex. Can you go with her when she meets her ex? I don't know if you would want to but that might be something to explore. If it's a big deal for you to go along with her then that would raise a red flag for me.
I don't understand why she doesn't see why this is bothering you. Especially since you are pregnant. Hormones everywhere and congratulations on that by the way.
I would tell her that communication with her ex needs to stop and if it doesn't then you're gone. You shouldn't have to deal with this, especially not right now, I know it's hard to leave someone you love, but you really deserve better. And you are so young too.
I wish you the best. Keep me updated ok. Good luck.
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A
female
reader, Princessmamma +, writes (28 November 2010):
Princessmamma is verified as being by the original poster of the questionIve asked her many times to quit talking to her it really does hurt me and theres always an excuse. The recent one is that she misses there friendship and wants to continue it bcuz she and her ex dated for six years and have been through alot together. I try to understand and show my support even though it hurts me but it gets worse everytime i ask her who shes talking to. She ended up calling me last nite and we talked more about it i told her how upset it made me and i lost control and started crying. She said she was sorry she didnt mean to hurt me. She loves me and misses me and that i shouldnt worry bcuz shes with me and wouldnt risk messing it up again bcuz she knows im the one. We have talks like this sometimes and when shes telling me this stuff she has this thing that makes me believe her but when were apart and we havent talked for awhile i worry shes up to something. Yes it would be hard to leave her bcuz i love her so much we to have been through alot together. Weve been best friends for eleven years since middle school i just recently told her how i felt about her about a year and a half ago. We like the same things we love each other and we have so much fun whenever were together. She considers my kids as her own and is so excited to find out what we are having on monday. We share so many connections and i honestly feel like she is my other half. I know some of this stuff that i think about is just in my head but since its happened before its so hard for me to trust her. Everything this relationship since wer started up again has been so different. I have no problem with trust until i hear about her ex. Her ex lives far away cuz shes going to college but comes bck for the weekend sometimes i get this sick feeling whenever she tells me shes in town or when they talk. I know i have no right to tell her who she can and cant be friends with but this is hurting me and i feel it may be enough to break us apart. She texted me this morning saying hey baby goodmorning i miss and love u and cant wait to be in ure arms. I called her and she said she would be home later tonight. I was in walmart when she called me again to tell me about her meeting i again asked if she knew for sure she was going to be home she told me to quit asking her cuz its gonna piss her off bcuz ive asked her so much the last few days. I told her i had to go and to call me later. She also mentioned that her ex was at walmart and i asked how she knew she told me that her ex texted her. I asked why she was in walmart and she said shes in town and bcuz she can be. I siad well thats going to be a fight and she said well she just texted me saying shes leaving. We got off the phone and i texted her upset bcuz of what she said and i told her she could have told me that i was making her mad a long time ago and i said i just wont ask her anything anymore. She never texted back. Upset with what had happened i decided not to text her or call her until she contacts me. So far nothing.. I gues what im more sick of is its my ex this my ex that oh shes in town. Im sick of her ex constanmtly being in her life. It is tearing our relatiobnship apart bcuz i get that sivk feeling in my stomache like somethings going on. There could be but she could be telling the truth. Ive tried to convince her so many times not to talk to her but she insists on having the fruendship and tells me alot its just me and her she loves me and is with me and wont screw things up this time. But my trust is shot. Im trying to get it back bcuz i do see change in her but her ex just makes me insecure. Ugh i hate this
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 November 2010): I would move on. She sounds very emotionally unstable and only wants you when she can't have you. You are pregnant (congrats) think about the babies.
You and the children need stability and someone who will be there for you and not be running off to their ex every five seconds because they have to talk to them.
This is ridiculous, it's like a roller coaster. You're up and down, up and down, up and down, when are you going to stop the ride?
You need to tell her that if you two are going to be together, then her communication with her ex has to stop. There is no wiggle room with that. No communication. Don't care what is the problem. No communication. What do they have to talk about that is so damn important?
Confront her. Ask her where she was and if you think she is lying, then tell her you aren't going to do this anymore.
If she loves you, then she will understand and if she doesn't, then you will find someone who will.
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A
female
reader, anynomous  +, writes (27 November 2010):
honey, u already answered that question urself.. you already knw she is with her ex. if she can respect her ex to answer the phone while she is with u then it should be the same with u.. my gf did the same thing and will do it again.. i dont trust her but its so hard to let her go.
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