A
female
age
36-40,
*oxy24
writes:dear cupid i feel like i really need your help.I was with my partner for nearly 5 years and because of me being in a large amount of debt we used to argue so we decided to call it a day. 8 months ago. He says we officially split up 2 months ago when he started seeing another girl. i'm 24 and after all the arguments and him telling me to grow up he is now with a 20 year old girl. We are still sleeping with each other and he tells me he loves me. When i ask him if he loves her he outright says no so then i asked how can you be with someone else if you love me to which he replied because i'm a bloke. i know that i should just let go and get on with my life but i've never loved anyone or anything so much. he tells he can see us growing old together and having a future which he doesn't see with her. I guess what i'm asking is should i carry on with this sordid affair or let him get on with it??Please if anyone can help me it would be much appreciated. sorry for the length of this but there's lots to tell after nearly 5 years.Yours thankfully Miss Hayley
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 August 2008): lol still love the way people with the shorter questions think its long.
Point one; whether he told you to grow up or not, people mature at different rates and ages. She might be more mature than you were - not a problem, he sounds like he was just after a bit of fun.
Secondly, being a bloke isn't an excuse. Blokes don't rule the world - even though I am one, I believe quite seriously in equal rights between a man and a woman. The issue I would have if he told you you were being immature, is that he isn't right now. I think you should end it - hes messing you around, being a slut (man slut hehe) and you don't deserve this at all.
Someone will love you for you, forever and ever and its not him. Keep fishing =]
Being serious, it might be hard getting over him - in fact it will be. But in all seriouness, you don't deserve this, and either does the girl hes with.
A
female
reader, Goiwan  +, writes (2 August 2008):
 haley, if your partner really loved you, he would not have left you, he would have helped you work your blokeness together... he says he sees you grow old together... can i relate this to the vows 2lovers make 'for better or for worse.... til death do us part" ... ur partner does not sound that he really is the type to grow old together with you, he will leave you just like he has left you now.... he will treat you the way he is treating the other 20year old girl.... if i were you i'd even talk with the other girl... i don't think this man deserves any of you girls... you are both too special and there are special men waiting for you out there... i think this man is the bloke..
you are the one to decide wether or not to let go... this man has already studied your strengths and weakness.. he is hitting you with your weakness... that's a bad man... he should have been strong for you to balance the -ve part of you and you vice versa... this is not ur man!
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A
female
reader, AskSusie  +, writes (2 August 2008):
Miss Hayley,Oh my god get away from this man! He's such a loser - you are not a loser. So you have debt problems? You need to focus on YOU, getting yourself out of debt and moving onto bigger and better places financially, emotionally and RELATIONSHIP wise!Obviously Miss Hayley - there are hundreds of thousands of fish in the sea. Don't even try and make this relationship worked, it's doomed because he is a very big LOSER for even saying to you that he's a 'bloke'. So what's the first step? Change your number and stop ALLLLL contact.If you want to know what the next step is, because you are serious about following my advice, you can respond to my message and i'll give you the next step.Goodluck...AskSusie
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