A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Myself and my boyfriend of 2 years split up recently after he kicked me out of my home. He said after a week he had made a huge mistake, but he didnt want to go back to the way it was. After some talking we agreed that after some time to sort ourselves out, we would like to start again from the begining, this time without rushing things. I am just looking for advice on how long to leave it before i suggest we go out, or should i wait for him to make the first move. Currently a lot of my stuff is still in his house as I am still looking for a place to live, we are on speaking terms and are both aware that we still love each other, but that other contributing factors had lead us into a trap of arguing constantly. I really want this to work with him as he has meant the world to me as I have known him for longer than our relationship (around 5 years), and I feel it could work with a little bit of effort. I would also like to ask about techniques to prevent us falling into the same trap as before.Thanks
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female
reader, Accountable +, writes (2 September 2009):
 Hmm well it is fairly common that people who behave in a partronizing manner do it without realising.. thats not a criticism of you, it is something that is fairly easy to do without even noticing! If that is the main issue then i suppose all you can do is try to make sure he knows that you are completely open to communication and trying to end this habit, and that he should let you know at the time you are doing it (so that you can recognise exactly what you are doing, and try not to do it again!) Aside from that, ensuring that you are both open and honest with each other about everything is a good way of preventing emotions from being bottled up, which inevitably leads to a bitter confrontation/deep resentment. Hope i helped somewhat, and that you two are more successful this time around :) good luck! xx
A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 September 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionhi sorry, he kicked me out because he felt i talked down to him but couldnt clarrify how or when i did, and felt there was too much anger from his side.
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A
female
reader, Accountable +, writes (2 September 2009):
In order to give you effective advice as to how to avoid falling into the same destructive patterns as before, it would be helpful to know what these are? What was it that led you to argue, what were the problems that caused him to kick you out?Some clarification would really help :)
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