A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:hello, I want advice and ways 2 cope on a few things. Me and my boyfriend have been together 5 months. We got commitment rings, (his idea) and he said he does want 2 be with me and loves me but it feels like i want him more and love him much more then he does me.Not met his family yet, but he told them about me and that i'll meet them soon. Thing is though he's away for a week next month, on holiday with his mum, dad and sister and her partner. He was gonna take me, but as its early days and i've not met them all yet, he isnt gonna ask this time and it was booked b4 he met me. He said we can go away, the 2 of us, later in the year. He goes with his family once a year, but i can go next year once we live 2getrher and the relationships more serious as its early days right now. I will miss him alot and he said a week is not much, so seems like he can cope a week without me and yet i cant. I'm so upset over this. How do i cope a week apart and should i txt him much? He said he will phone once a day but cant txt 2 much. What do i do? He is happy to see me a couple of times a week at the mo and doesnt txt me much, said the relationship builds up over time and yet i want 2 be with him each day and i send long txts to him and he replys very short ones.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 April 2011): thanks for all your advice and i shall do what you all said. i'm not going to text him too much, one or two a day unless he does first. i won't show him i miss him too much or say that and just send a normal text like you would to a friend, about how my day has gone etc and not send any saying miss you etc. i will keep busy and let him think i cope well when apart.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 April 2011): I know how u are feeling. My boyfriend goes away to Australia for 10 days at the end of next month. I will miss him loads but will keep myself busy with my friends.I dont see my bf a lot either but the times we do have together we make it special. I havent met his family either infact they dont even know about me and we have being together for 6 months. I would like to spend more time with him but just accept the situation and he doesnt text a lot either.My last relationship was full on from the first few weeks. We spent most of our time together and after a few months it became very boring. When we were not with each other we used to text all night so when we saw each other we had nothing to talk about. He smothered me in the end, so I wont make the same mistake this time.I go out with my friends still, have my independence and have time for me. So when we do see each other its still exciting and fun.One week will soon go over just miss him loads, enjoy yourself, do things you want to do and just wait when u see him when he comes back, how pleased and excited you will be.
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A
female
reader, GG96  +, writes (23 April 2011):
I think you should use the week apart to have some "you" time. No offense, but if you are too dependent on a guy (and it sounds like you are) if something happens and you break up, you will be so crushed tmyou won't be able to get back up. What i suggest is, have a girls night. Just you and a couple of girlfriends an go out. Make it a whole girl day and go to the spa or get your nails done. Go shopping. Get back in touch with yourself. And hey, he's taking a vacation, you should get away for the weekend. Its only a week, and i get it, you love him, but come on. You can last a week. As for the texting, no. Don't text him unless he texts you because he told you he couldn't text much and you have to respect that or you'll come off as needy.
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A
female
reader, lacrymosa_652 +, writes (23 April 2011):
 I think you need to be a bit less... dependent on him, and learn to not be bothered by how much he texts you and so forth. It seems like you are going through that feeling of wanting to be with your significant other all the time. However, it's just not feasible; try and be more independent, learn to enjoy time alone or time with just your friends.During your week apart, try not to think about him being gone so much. Do things you enjoy by yourself, or see some friends. Keep yourself busy, and don't pine for him. He said he'll call you once a day, maybe you can send a text or two but don't overload him with messages.A week is not long, and don't tell yourself it is. Also remember, it could be worse, it could be months apart, or a break-up.I think independence is the key, here. Your boyfriend does not love you less or want you less than you do him - he just realises he's able to cope with spending a couple of days without you. You can as well, so don't convince yourself otherwise.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 April 2011): I would say dont think about it so much, and he probably does love you just as much as you love him you just have different ways of showing it and dealing with it.
Wish him a good holiday and when he comes back meet him and ask him to tell you all about it and move on, but dont dwell on it.
I was like you and it became obsessive, I ended up always thinking about him and basically put my whole world and plans around him and well I basically took my idea of what I want and put it on him and im pretty sure its my fault he got depressed and then dumped me cuz he needs to focus on himself now. I love him more than ever and want him to come back to me when hes better but I cant help think its my fault in the first place.
Dont do what I did, just accept it how it is. He loves you with all he has and thats what matters. Go have fun while hes away, go out with friends, pick up a hobby do anything just dont dwell on missing him, it could end up being the biggest mistake you could ever make.
Sorry Im sure you can probably tell Im still not over my ex and feel soo much emotions in this situation im hurting BADLY. I wouldnt wish it on anyone and the way you just said this question sounded just like me.
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