A
male
age
41-50,
*rianinlove
writes:I am a divorced 34 year old male. My last marriage was one full of trust issues and what I like to call lack of love. I am now engaged to a gorgeous and wonderful women. The one good thing about my last marriage is that I learned the number 1 and most important key to a strong relationship is total honesty. The question I have is my fiance is for the most part forthcoming in all topics. The one area I have trouble with is in some cases she will not lie but leave out some parts of her responses to me. She doesn't do it to avoid trouble on her own part but to not hurt or upset me. I appreciate her concern for my feelings but at the same time my concerns are if she will opt out of some details for my part what will she leave out when it comes to protecting herself? I have tried to explain this to her that I would appreciate it more that she be totally honest and have faith that I love her and am able to handle the truth myself. I still find that she continues and I would like to know how to inform her that it is something that gives me an unease in our trust in each other.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 February 2009): Hi
Trust does not have to happen because she tells you from A to B...trust comes from YOU trusting that she has nothing to hide and not quizzing her. If she has something to say to you let her say of her own free will. Please do not live your life in FEAR of lies as in the end TRUTH always appears when needed anyway. Just forget past hurt and learn to TRUST YOU and your choice of partner this time, or you will put a strain on the relationship. If her hair looked shit after a trip to the hairdressers and there was nothing she could do to make it better...would you tell a little white lie to make her feel better. Your trouble is not TRUST it is FEAR.
via con dios.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (3 February 2009): You still have trust issues. She alone decides what to tell you. There is no telling you won't like the new brutally honest women, after all you maybe the worst lover she's ever had, and she may fancy the guy down the road.
Let it be, it's your problem not hers.
Good luck
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