A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:We'll be apart for our 1st Christmas. He's visiting on the west coast and I'm east coast. 10 days away and his LTR ex/friend who calls and texts him still lives there. She visited there last Christmas and I'm guessing she will this year. I'm going insane! How do I stay cool and secure thru this time apart. She isn't in a committed relationship and he has "nice guy syndrome" so I'm worried she test his boundaries (I've heard she's brash that way). How do I survive this unknown?
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male
reader, eddie85 +, writes (16 December 2011):
 I am going to also agree with the other people who answered before me.
There's nothing you can do to change what your boyfriend is going to do behind your back. If he's going to cheat, its probably best you know now, instead of months / years down the road. Besides, if you don't have trust with one another -- what do you really have?
Ultimately, if he truly loves you, he'll stay faithful.
Before he goes, make sure he knows how you feel and keep the lines of communication open. Call him routinely and ask him how his day went. Be sure you try and keep the holiday festive as well and tell him how much you miss him. Do not ask about his ex, though. If he wants to talk about it, let him.
Barring any previous cheating elements from your boyfriend, try not to worry about it. It is easy to let the emotional time of space apart and the holidays create unnecessary drama. So when thoughts start to creep, in remind yourself how much you trust your boyfriend and keep the joy of the season in your heart.
Best wishes.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 December 2011): All you can do is trust him, not show insecurity. Not easy I know, but he is with you now,not her.
Focus on your christmas and having a good time, let him know you miss him,can't wait to see him again, but no 20 questions about who he's seen,spoken to etc.
He may even be wondering what you will be up to.
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