A
female
age
36-40,
*he secret
writes:im going for an hiv test tomorrow and im so scared i might test positive.my x bf was a player and he slept around,i found out he tested positive and ever since i have been scared.i have never had sex with anyone but him he is my first.please give me addvice im scared and im so alone.
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hiv , player Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 April 2009): That is excellent news.. I am very happy for you. Bless
A
female
reader, pebble  +, writes (25 April 2009):
 Congratulations :)
And at least a good thing has come of this horrible scare, you know you won't risk it ever again. I'm really happy for you, I can't even imagine how horrid that wait must have been. Call it an experience, you're better off in the long run because this happened. Time to relax, move on and smile :)
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A
female
reader, Ladelund  +, writes (24 April 2009):
Yaaaaa!!!!! Take care of yourself from now on...you are worth it. My suggestions (and something I do)...before you become sexually active again, ask your new partner to get an STI (STD) test. You have every right to keep yourself safe. If he isn't willing to do this then he doesn't deserve you!
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reader, anonymous, writes (24 April 2009): I'm very happy the results are negative and that we could help. Take care in future
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reader, anonymous, writes (24 April 2009): I'm not religious but I would say - "Thank God for that!!!"
Good luck for the future - and a lesson well-learned!
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A
male
reader, the_phoenic +, writes (24 April 2009):
congrats,
and never preform unprotected again unless u r sure of your spouse
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reader, anonymous, writes (24 April 2009): hooray for our side. Very pleased for you.
Star.x.
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A
female
reader, the secret +, writes (24 April 2009):
the secret is verified as being by the original poster of the question i went and the results came back negative,thanks for all the support you guys gave me.it's a nice feeling to know people care and i know for a fact that unprotected sex was a bad choice and trust me i am not going to risk my life again.thanks a lot guys you gave me strength to face my fears.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 April 2009): Baby gurl-
Did you use condoms with him? If you practiced safe sex you are at a better chance to be alright in the end. Stay hopeful and do not worry until you know what the results are. Life's too short to worry about the what-ifs.
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A
female
reader, Roxy1989  +, writes (23 April 2009):
 Sweeti, I know you are scared, but like most of them said, we cant take your fear away, we can only be there for you and give you some sort of support, it's a 50/50 situation, try not to stress over it, because you can't change the result anyway.. just come to you inner peace, pray, get some sleep and have a nice relaxing bath.. even if you do have it, these days people live a long time with it. I know someone who has had HIV for 20 years.
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 April 2009): at the moment you are in a strange state - (a bit like schrodingers cat) you have a chance of having it and a chance of not - so, assuming an equal chance for each at the same time, you exist in some kind of maybe world. (ok thats a little abstract, but hopefully you get my drift)
the problem is today you don't know. tomorrow you will and if its positive you will work and deal with it. If not then you will also deak with it. So the good news is today is the last day of uncertainty and the maybe world. Tomorrow you can turn the page on the uncertainty and move forward in which ever path it takes you.
good luck and let us know how you get on.
bug hug Star.x.
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 April 2009): As ladelund said, we can't take the fear away. We can only hope that you haven't got it. If you used protection you're at a lower risk. However if you didn't, not even for one time, you have a maximum risk of getting it. Please try to think optimistically, until you get the results. Make sure you are with someone you trust when you share the news, how ever the outcome. I'll be keeping my fingers crossed for you. Best of luck .x
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 April 2009): Just try to calm down. Stupid thing to say I know, but the result will either be positive or negative and worry will not affect it either way. With any luck, he contracted HIV after he was with you. Or, if you used condoms, oral sex does not always transfer the disease, you gotta have like a cold sore in your mouth or something for that to happen.
Just try to remain hopeful.. And talk to someone about it.
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 April 2009): don't be worried you might have hiv but don't think of the worst
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 April 2009): If the sex you had was unprotected, then you're right to be scared - very scared indeed. It's at times like these that you discover a belief in God so, just keep praying like crazy - nothing else to advise here, sorry.
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A
female
reader, Ladelund +, writes (23 April 2009):
There isn't anything I can say that will take the fear away. I am praying for you. If you do test positive there is a lot of help and support out there. Have you thought about contacting your local AIDS/HIV organization to talk to them right now about your fears? They have trained people there that can help and suppport you as you go through this so that you won't feel alone. Do you have any friends or family members that you can confide in and that will be a positive support. You need to reach out to others right now...you don't need to go through this alone. All the best.
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