A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi! Me and my gf have been dating now for just over 2 months. Things have been going very well and we seem to really click. Although having dated girls before, this is my first real relationship and the same can be said for her, although she is probably even less experienced. Recently I decided to go and pay her a surprise visit as due to work, we would not be able to see each other for a month, and I wanted to go and see her 2 weeks in so as to not go a whole month without any physical contact.The visit went well, I met her friends and family, at at the request of her parents, stayed in the house, even though I had not planned on doing so and felt as if we had a good time. Needless to say, I did notice how very shy she was with me around her family!On arriving back home, I read an e-mail she had sent saying that the visit had freaked her out a little and that she didnt want anything serious and that she had enjoyed it more when things seemed to have been more light hearted before we had left each other.Because of the type of person who I am, and because I seem to have fallen for this girl quite a lot, I was naturally deflated and we talked the next day about everything, and although it was made apparent that we both didn't want to see other people and we both really liked and cared for each other, I felt that we had hit a bit of a bump and that things were no longer as perfect as they were before I had gone and seen her.Since then I have started to, probably unnescessarily, over think the relationship! It has become almost obvious that 8 times out of 10 I am the one who initiates the contact and that affection can sometimes, on her part, be a little lacking!I wish I could talk to her about it, but after the visit and the e-mail I don't want to freak her out more by coming over a little strong and deep and as a result proably break up, because Ive come over that way.Needless to say, I don't want to look a fool, and am the type of person who is probably a little insecure and needs the reasurance that the feelings are the same, but at the same time, do not want to lose her.There is also the issue of us potentially not seeing each other come June for around 2 and abit months, and the question of whether we should break up or not. I definately do not want to break up, but I am getting the feeling that she might be leaning to the idea of us splitting up over the summer.Im really curious as to hear any of ur opinions and thoughts and if you need any more info please let me know, it really has started to sit on my mind a lot and I think 1) im after an honest opinion and 2) reassurance.Thanks
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female
reader, kellyxxx +, writes (23 April 2009):
 She doesn't sound as if she wants the same thing as you do at the minute. She seems like she needs a lot of time to herself. If you can't deal with what she wants then it would be best to end the relationship and find someone who will be the same as you in a relationship. In a relationship the dynamics need to fit perfectly, you need to find someone who you fit with better! X
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