A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'm a 17 year old high school student, and for the past three years I've been having a relationship with the 46 year old Head of Security at my high school. It started out as a friendship, and grew to be much, much more. I would like to stress that this has been an entirely unsexual relationship, we kissed on the lips once, and that's been it. We have been taking things very slowly, mainly because there's a 30 year age gap between us. He has a wife and I have a boyfriend. Despite all the odds against us, we have an incredible connection. We have grown to be very close over the years, and there's always been incredible sexual tension between us. The reason i'm writing this is because i turn 18 (legally an adult) in May, and graduate from high school (no longer a student) in June. Would it be a huge mistake to sleep with this man? I'm no virgin, and i know that what we feel is real. Still, the age gap is mind-boggling. His youngest daughter is four years older than me! I can't talk about this with any of my friends, and certaintly not my boyfriend! Please help me, i know what i want to do, but i don't know if the consequences would be disastrous. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 February 2007): hiya! i think you should not bother listning to what ever people here are saying and just go with youre heart! that is what will make you happy,you obviously love him or have strong feelings for him if you consider having sex whilst you are going out with youre bf at the moment! im in a simalir situation as u ! i am 16 ! and i also hav a bf !but i do not feel half as much towrds my bf as i do this man who is older!! my friendship with this man grew like youres! and altho other people can look in and say its "gross" well its not ! they dont have a clue! the only thing keeping me from the an i like is society! and if we r still having the conection we do now in two years time when i leave college im moving abroad nd is coming to! its never going to be anything serious just a close friedship so it lets me grow up to!! so u go for it gurl follow youre heart! xxxx
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 February 2007): I, myself am in love with a man much older than me, and we met through work. I understand your feelings and I have pondered some of the same questions... i think that you need to decide, both of you together (if you love him and trust him enough to do this)if it is worth all of the trouble and hurting his family. the one i love is 33 years older i'm 18 and he's 51. but i know that he loves me and i love him, and the thought of being with out him kills me. I hope that you both are able to do the right thing. As i am also sure that you understand the difference between molestation and him taking advantage of his job, and his job just being what it is, like any other and nothing more. i hope i was some help... i feel it is encouraging for me to see others in a similar position as me.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 February 2007): ew that is extremely gross! He's 46 for goodness sakes, And married and u want to sleep with him thats gross, he's older than my dad ew
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 January 2007): Mr P is right on the mark, I am an old gal and this guy has issues to be Head of the Safety of students and allowing his creepy sexual fantasies for young girls to find one who would let him groom her for something lurid....he ought to be reported for kissing and fondling you, yuk, don't even go there, girl!
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A
male
reader, Ponungalungb  +, writes (25 January 2007):
 I agree with Mel, except for the old guy part - I resemble that remark, LOL. You have been associating with an individual who has misused his position of authority. He has overstepped his bounds already by kissing you and by ingratiating himself into your life.
You need to forget this "old guy", and hang out with people your own age.
Good luck!
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A
female
reader, melschatbox +, writes (25 January 2007):
 The consequences would be disasterous!! You are a bright girl. I think you know that what you and he are doing is morally wrong. Not b/c of the age difference but b/c he is married and you have a b/f. Have you considered how hurtful and damaging this is to a marriage? Do you want to be ONE of those girls...that doesn't mind screwing up a marriage? Regardless, of what his intentions are you should think with your values and morals and not your hormones. I don't need to tell you what he is thinking with. He is not a good role model for young teens that's for sure. You can do better than this old guy ..he probably checks out all of the girls at your school. Don't sleep with him and have this in your past..it's not a great conquest and he is not leaving his wife for you. Stay away....Please take this advice...
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