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female
age
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*ixyearslater
writes:My husband of six years has two teenage sons (who do not live with us), one of whom has been mostly trouble since day one. My husband has never disciplined his kids or made them accountable for their mis-deeds, and now the troublesome 17 year-old has gone too far. He and two friends broke into my house! They cut a screen on one window, only to find the window locked, so they found another window that was unlocked, crawled in, and proceeded to take a bottle of liquor before my husband came home and found them in the house. They lied about being inside saying they found the place unlocked. It most definitely was locked, and the evidence of their breaking in became clear once I arrived home and noticed the windows. I told my husband that this was not just a stupid act, but a crime. He assured me that he would take care of this situation. Two months have passed, and nothing has been done. His excuse is that he can't do anything about this because the kid refuses his phone calls. I say he needs to go to HIM, not wait for him to answer the phone! He needs to show this punk kid that he is not only breaking the law, but it WILL NOT be tolerated. My husband refuses to show any anger or be a "father" to these kids. He wants to be their buddy more than anything else. This problem has taken a deep toll on me and my marriage. I would like to know what anyone else would do in this situation.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 March 2007): I am in a similar situation and our relationship is coming to an end. My partner has basically told me that i either accept the way he disciplines his kids or i walk. I have thought and thought about it and have tried to compromise but i can only accept so much. Children can be very manipulative and im sure they know the harm they cause. My partner says his kids are the most important things in his life (and rightly so) but i refuse to not be taken seriously and not be be allowed to protect myself and my family. I hope you can sort your problem out before it ruins your relationship but i really think there comes a point when you have to put your foot down and make a stand.
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male
reader, maxsteel86  +, writes (25 March 2007):
 Personally, I think your husband is an ass with the way he lets his kids do anything. Ask anybody (with intelligence), kids need boundaries to know when they're doing something wrong (like smashing a window on accident) or totally wrong (like a felony). Tell your husband he's not doing them any favours by letting them live like this. The kid would always think he can get away with this kinda crap and eventually might lead him to 'Super Max' (awesome prison I have to say!).Remind him its his responsibility to sort this out cos if he broke into anyone else's house, there wouldn't even be a discussion about this. Tell him that the punk's time is running out and eventually, your husband will realise it but by then it'll be too late
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male
reader, home_land  +, writes (25 March 2007):
 i know its a crime and that is not right
but you know its not easy to have peace also within a family
and you know mom had 8 kids and and onther 2 from his first wife my dad died when i was 13 and i had to work after school and help my mother and i know without my dad my life was not easy but if my mother was gone befor dad i think my life would be worse what the kids are missing is the balance within the family if you love your husband and he loves you do try to work out how to bring the family together and make somthing better out of your own "KIDS"
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female
reader, sixyearslater +, writes (25 March 2007):
sixyearslater is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for your reply, but your question as to 'what am I doing about this' confuses me. The question I posed was what would anyone else do in this case. I am at a loss as to what I should do, other than call the police and have this kid thrown in jail. Let me clarify this a bit more...I have welcomed and accepted his children despite the problems we have had. From stealing and lying, to masturbating in front of my then 8 year-old son, this kid has done it all and now it has escalated to breaking and entering, which is a crime in my country. I feel it is my husband's responsibility to address this situation with his son. What am I supposed to do? Accept the fact that this kid has gotten away with a crime against me and my home? If my child broke into his step-mother's home, I wouldn't hesitate to make him accountable and punishing him. And I would certainly understand if she were to call the police. This should be on my husband's shoulders..his kids are his responsibility.
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reader, home_land +, writes (25 March 2007):
hellofirst of all real punks they dont do that and you are puting all of it on your husbands shoulder and to be honest you are a big part of that family and you have to do your part in it and try to get close to his family the 2 kids and do something good and not sit around and say oh my god the bad kids and my husband he is not doing any thing and i really want to ask you ,what in heavens name are doing to solve it?good luck
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