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female
,
anonymous
writes: In January my boyfriend of a year had accused me of cheating on him (it was a HUGE misunderstanding). Background: His ex-gf of 3 1/2 years had cheated on him. I figured it was stimulated from his past pain. He later told me” I believe you I know that you didn't.” Now in June, he has again, several times, accused me of cheating on him. Even has gone as far as saying I am "banging several different men." Asinine, I know. However, it leaves me to wonder if he is cheating on me. I have no other suspicions other than his accusations towards me. My question is, could he be cheating on me hence the accusations or is he suffering from low self esteem, or could it be paranoia from his past relationship? Any help is much appreciated.
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 June 2006): It's impossible (for us) to tell if he is guilty himself of cheating.
How long was he single after splitting up with her? When people have been cheated on, it can mess them up for quite a while. I know of numerous people who have been in this situation and most were not ready to be in another relationship until up to a year after. Some had got in to relationships sooner, within months, but the relationships always failed because they just did not trust the other person. They were consumed with paranoia and accusations; they were not over the hurt from their last relationship experience.
I would not automatically assume your boyfriend is guilty of something. Rather, I would examine his last relationship, how much it upset him, and what he has come to learn BEFORE meeting you. He needs to go through an adequate process of acceptance before he can commit to another relationship. You need to tell him straight that you have never cheated on him, and if you keep getting acusations thrown at you, it will eventually destroy the relationship. Hopefully you can go from wherever that discussion takes you. Good luck!
A
female
reader, sibaan +, writes (10 June 2006):
 he is probably guilty, he sounds guilty or in denial. just go to him and say youd never cheat on me would you and see how he reacts if he is casual and says no and acts all cute then its past pain but if he over reacts then he is guilty.
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