A
female
age
36-40,
*ottroddchic
writes:i have been with my boyfriend for almost 2 years now and weve had some problems with is porn addiction. i left him bout 7 months ago because he had such a problem with not only porn but datin sites and personals ads. i left him for about 3 months but we never totally seperated. when we started talking about workin things out he said he realized he had made mistakes and that he didnt want to hurt me again. i havent found him on the personals or the datin sites yet but i feel its just a matter of time. at this point i dont know what to do about his addiction to porn. he deletes the history on his computer so i wont find it but the fact that its been deleted is all the proof i need that hes been on it. he tries to deny it even when the proof is right in front of his face. i dont understand. typically im not one to be bothered by porn but its become a problem in the bedroom as well. hes pleasured himself so much to porn and things that climaxin with me is almost impossible at times. it requires so much time and effort for him to climax that its just not enjoyable for me anymore. sex with him doesnt keep him from it and not having sex doesnt help either. is there any help for him? is it possible for him to to get to a point where he can climax with me and it not be such a "job"?
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male
reader, LazyGuy  +, writes (2 February 2010):
 What you got to ask yourself is, what are you trying to work with here?
This guy has been given a choice, you or masturbation and even masturbation vs sex. And he has chosen masturbation.
Clearly he does not value you, the sex or the relationship. He SAYS he wants to make things work, but doesn't actually work at it.
And since you have given in to him, he knows he doesn't have to work at it.
It is next to impossible to get a person to change who isn't truly willing to change himself. Make it clear that things have to change or it is over and mean it.
And if he doesn't, then there is nothing you can do about it. After all, if you could change a person against their own will, then you should have been changed by him to accept his way of doing things?
A
female
reader, junebug81409 +, writes (2 February 2010):
Gosh hon stay strong.u love him and this hurts huh? My husband wasnt that bad but then it started to become a problem.if he just uses his hand wit no lotion tell him to use lotion so its more realstic feeling.ya know.then it should help a lil but my husband slowed down with the porn.the whole datin sites thing i honestly would have tryed to leave him.i said tryed bcuz leaving sum one u love is hard.im sorry i wasnt much help.good luck
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