| A
female
,
anonymous
writes: My boyfriend has a problem, everytime I go to work he looks at pornography numerous times during the day. I have asked him to stop or be less frequent as it bothers me and every month I find it again. He has started deleting everything off the computer and lies about what he does during the day. I can't stand his lies anymore and it's hurting the way I look at him. It's not just his porn addiction that bothers me anymore, it's his lying. Should I break up with him?
View related questions:
porn Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 July 2009): Dump him. I am in the same situation. Women put up with things men never would and that is why we are made to feel like shit. We allow it. Porn is a form of cheating and telling your significant other they are not good enough. There are men out there that aren't perverts. They are just hard to find.
A
female
reader, silverdragon  +, writes (10 December 2007):
Unless you are more upset about the lying and you think he might be lying to you about other things I dont think you should break up with him. Men look at porn, men are visual creatures and that is what they do. I hang out with a lot of guys, pretty much only guys and since my husband looks at porn and masturbates to it even when I am home and willing I asked my husband and a lot of my guy friends why they do this. Well for the most part (there are always exceptions) guys are masturbating more to relieve stress than anything, they are not thinking about the girls they are looking at but thinking about being in the act, the looking at the girl part gets them turned on then when they are masturbating that is when they are just thinking about being with a girl probably in a certain position but probably not a specific girl. They do this to relieve stress and it is a lot easier and less tiring than having sex, so if they are tired it is just easier. If it is not effecting your sex life and they are not addicted than you really should try not to worry about it. I will admit it hurts my esteem to some extent and makes me feel less attractive, but I just try to remember that this is the way men are and that my husband is still crazy in love with me and finds me to be very sexy and that I am the only woman he would actually have sex with. I know it can be hard but if you make him feel embarrased or like it is wrong than that will lead him to lie. My husband knows I dont love that he does it, but that I am ok with it so he does not feel the need to hide it from me or delete websites. I even find the towels he has used in the floor. We love and trust each other and that is what matters, so if trust is an issue that is different. He even points out when other women are hot and I do the same, other than him I am more attracted to women. I would rather us just be open and honest about it all and learn to compromise and try to understand each other, cause in my opinion trust issues are alot bigger than porn issues.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 November 2007): I know this is not an answer but just wanted you to know your not alone.I know exactly how you feel. I tell him exaclty how I feel about how frequent he looks at it.The same as you stated as soon as I'm not home he is looking at it. He lies to me even when I ask.Then when I bring it up again about why he lied he gets angry with me.I'm suppose to be marrying this man and I am having second thoughts just because of all the lies.What did you do?
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 March 2006): I'm having the exact same problem. it sucks. cause i know i can't change him. i dont want to dump himm because everything else is great. if i ask him not to do it, he just hides it. i tell him how it hurts me and makes me feel and it doesnt matter. he blames it on his gender. which i think is crap. the worst part is that before it was never a problem. three years together and nothing like this until last month, and now he looks up naked girls every day. all i can do is wonder what i did, or am not doing :( if you or anyone else comes up with a solution to this please e-mail me at [email address blocked]
...............................
A
female
reader, willywombat  +, writes (28 March 2006):
 If this is bothering you and you feel you cannot trust him then yes, do it. Dump him and get a guy you can trust. It isn't just the porn issue it is the lying that would turn my stomach. If he won't change and he won't stop lying I don't see you ahve much choice unless you are prepared to live with it.
x
...............................
A
female
reader, bodylotion +, writes (27 March 2006):
 No definatly not.If this is the only thing wrong with your realtionship than it is not a problem.It is common for a man to look at porn it is nothing unusual.He only lies has he is possibly embarrased has you have found out.Many men don't like to flash the fact that they look at porn even tho most men do.
...............................
|
