A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I'm 26, my boyfriend's 28, we've been together for a month now.He's a lovely guy; kind, caring, decent. However, we've only had sex infrequently.Reason why? His penis is too large and he HATES it, absolutely HATES it; he says women should "be careful what they wish for" wanting men with a large penis, they would hate it, he said.He's muscular, but not through training; just genetics. Despite this, he looks geeky but I don't mind; in fact, it makes him all the more special because he's not a "prettyboy" - his personality makes up for that!"Ugly" would be the wrong term in my opinion.He's 6"2 tall, and has a large penis in addition to the height; no correlation between the two.He wants sex, but feels depressed because of his physical defect; he said it makes sex painful, and he can't even masturbate as that's painful for him.Other than that, our relationship's great, so how can we get the physical side back on track?
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male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (5 August 2011):
 My old age tells me this guy is not telling the truth. There may be a problem, but his size, or that of his penis, is not the problem here.In principle he should see a doctor. In practice, I feel that would be a waste of money. Since he is 28, I would have expected him to have "some" experience in masturbation, which means he should have known something was the matter a long time ago.Perhaps the way to have him deal with this is to become a pain in the neck until he goes to the doctor. That would leave him with no excuse. But I think he isn't going to any doctor.
A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (5 August 2011):
 Masturbation shouldn't be painful to him. That would be odd. Talk to him more about it and encourage him to see his doctor if masturbation hurts him. You didn't say it hurt YOU, only that it hurts him... So how does it work out? Is it he who experiences problems, or you? How do you experience the sex? You talked a lot about him, but didn't say anything about your own ideas and thoughts around this. Masturbation shouldn't be hurting him though, he needs to see his doctor to find out what is wrong. Is he circumcised?His hight doesn't really factor into this at all, nor his physique. Why did you mention these things? How do they matter in this you think? You need to describe the actual difficulties more specifically. I've been with large men, and have girlfriend who've been with large men (penis that is), and their hight and weight was no factor in it, nor did the men complain about feeling pain. The common thing is for WOMEN to feel pain, not men.
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A
female
reader, person12345  +, writes (4 August 2011):
 He needs to go see a doctor to figure out why any sexual activity including masturbation hurts, as just being very large shouldn't cause that.
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A
male
reader, Daniel the love doctor +, writes (4 August 2011):
 O.k. I don't think that it should be painful for him during sex or masturbation if he's just too large unless there's is an actual defect or medical condition that he has. With that being said there are things that you two can do to help make sex more enjoyable for the both of you....
1. Try more foreplay. Use your hands, mouth (whether for kissing or oral), and sweet/dirty talk each other.
2. Try different positions. If length is the issue, then he can control how much he puts inside you through the doggy-style or missionary position. He doesn't have to put it all in. If girth is the problem, you can use lube- and allow him to slowly work his way inside you...and prepare you by using his fingers 1 at a time until it's about the size of his penis. Then he can proceed to insert himself.
Hope this helps!
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