A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi there,sorry if this is a little long but i have alot on my mind and just hearing some opinions would be amazing.I first met my now bf April 2010. I was head over heels for him and was thrilled when he asked me to be his gf at the end of may. Although we had issues right from the very start, his is incredibly jealous and insecure, questions any guy i even glance at. He had massive issues with a guy i had a fling with before i even met him and accused me of cheating on him with the guy and still liking the guy. All in which were so hurtful because i was nothing but in love with my bf. I then found out he had told another girl he wanted to sleep with her. Upset and hurt i had all intentions of breaking it off but he cried and pleaded although his excuse was nothing more than "I dont know why i said it" It took me a while to get over it but i did only to keep finding out he talks to this girl behind my back even to this day, but if i ever bring it up i get accused of snooping or not trusting him.5 months into our relationship he started up the season of his sport. I knew about it and that he would be busy but i didnt expect how busy he was. He liturally didnt have a single day for me. Iv been nothing but supportive of him but my patience began to wear thin especially when i attended some of the sports weekends and was made very unwelcome by his team and coach because im simply a distraction. 9 months into our reationship (this feburary) i got so tired of him never having time of the day for me and constantly aruguing over it that i told him id lost the spark. Untrue but i was so hurt from being put second that i just cracked. He reacted to this by breaking up with me. I was distraught. I spend a week begging him back willing to do anything and then i gave up. I stopped contacting him and to my suprise he started contacting me again. he began texting me morning to night (just like we always have) and me met up a few times. He would pull me into his arms and i melted, sure he was going to ask me back. After a week of this i asked him whats going on and he said he was confused. Then one night he asked what i was up to and i said nothing, may go visit a friend. He asked who. I said just my mate "Brad". He flipped out accusing me of moing on so quick etc etc. I was shattered id never been anything more than just friends with this guy and i would have done anything to get him back. Anyway cut a long story short he asked me to be his gf again and for us too go slow. I was thrilled despite seeing him rarly as he was still training every day and he also didnt have a car, his broke down so he was borrowing his parents one.Now to the current situation. That was 6 weeks ago and everything between us has never been better. His sport season finished so he had time for me and we are getting along like a house on fire. Except for his problamatic parents. They now hate me. They have no reason too, iv never done anything wrong by the, iv barly even been to their house as my bf is always at mine because he has to share a room with his 20yo brother (his 22) and his parents dont welcome bf's staying over anyway. Im polite, have a good career, come from a good family, dont smoke, rarely drink and have good money saved behind me. Their problem? my guess is they are just jealous that my bf is back at my hose all the time again. (He doesnt get along with them anyway) But the stuff they say behind my back hurts. Now he still hasnt got his car running. Iv lent him mine for 3 weeks but enough is enough, he had 2 weeks off and he never fixed it now his back at work and i havnt seen him for days his been trying to fix it. I feel very used, i lent him my car, money to fix it, and i made him lunch etc before work every day. Now his back at his parents using their car (they wont aloow him to stay here whilst he has their car and use that against him) and im conflicted, i either give him mine back (and continue borrowing my mums spare) til his is fixed, or i sit here, bitter and lonely because i have no time with him and he cant stay here now.Now i know this makes him seem like a terrible person but his very apologetic over the car and is paying me back when he gets his first pay check next week but i feel this guy just comes with constant problems and its messing me up. I just found out his doing another season of this very time consuming and expensive sport so again i feel like im going to be thrown away when put down the list of priorities when it starts back up.I feel as though once his car is back and he is more independent maybe everything will be okay but right now my biterness is creeping up, especially since id love to be with him as we speak just sitting around chatting while he does his car- like we used to. But im not welcome at his house. Its heartbreaking iv never done anything to offend a person in my life.I Love him and he makes me so happy. We have been together one year next week and my gosh its had some ups and downs. Is this normal or am i right to feel down about it. I do most certenly not want to end things with him does anyone have any ideas on what i could do to pick my self up a litle over the situation. Im freaking out about attending his sisters 18th on the weekend because i will have to see his parents. This isnt normal i feel very confused. Any opinions greatly appreciated
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 May 2011): You can't really do anything, if my bf's parents didnt like me i would do my best to ignore them. You should try talking to your bf about it. If he cares about what your feeling and knows what his parents are saying behind your back then he should try asking his parents exactly what bothers them about you.Its not fair on you that they may not have a reason to not like you, it sounds like they have nothing to not like about you. They may know that you sometimes go see some of your guy friends and anger you're bf and make him think your cheating on him. If your bf falls out with his parents, dont get involved, not unless they pull you into an argument. It's not you're fault their asking for trouble, if it gets anymore serious, you may have to involve you're parents to help you out with this situation. Hope this helps!
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