A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:My significant other was in a bad car accident in his 20's.His parents became super protective. So he always calls them and lets them know where he is going, like on trips and when he arrives back home to appease them and ease their minds. I am fine with that.Also, he always answers the phone, when they call, no matter what he is in the middle of doing.This happened recently. The parents were driving, taking a trip, and they said they would call him when they arrived at their hotel.We are in the middle of having sex, my significant other answers his cell because they were calling, to talk to them, and continues on with me, while at the same talking to them.He told me he hates not to answer when they call, because they would worry.Wouldn't you feel this is extreme? I'm just saying it kind of takes away from the mood. I don't want to be selfish either because it is his parents.I totally understand his parents worry when their son is on the road and it was a traumatic experience for all of them with his accident.Once, I was in attic rearranging, I didn't hear the phone right away, they were calling, but they kept on calling and calling back, again and again. I was trying to get down from the attic stairs as fast as I could without hurting myself in the process to answer the phone (it's a landline). This was an example of how persistent the phone calls are. They said to me, You sound out of breath. Yes, I was, racing to answer the phone, I was thinking to myself.I feel the accident propelled them into this "check in with me no matter what" type of relationship. I say this as an outsider looking in. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, 02DuszJ  +, writes (6 October 2015):
 For me, he would need to understand that's unacceptable- it's just degrading and disrespectful to you- while you're sharing some of the most intimate moments you can share, he just cuts it short to talk to his parents?? It's just not courteous or giving you or the relationship the importance it deserves, in my opinion. You need to talk to him about the incident and make it very clear it's a big issue for you, and very hard for you to deal with- he might have some sort of dependency issues or whatever, but if he doesn't make effort to understand your feelings and agree to turn his phone off during sex/ intimate moments, then for me, it would be a deal breaker... I don't know how long you've been with him, but it's not fair on you and he should respect you and the relationship enough to rectify this issue.(It is very weird behaviour, and there is probably some underlying issue he has, but he should still make the effort to talk to you, or someone about it)Take care!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 October 2015): In the middle of sex, he takes a call from his parents and you allow him to continue on? Why didn't you just get up and leave him to be Mummy's boy?
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A
female
reader, RubyBirtle +, writes (6 October 2015):
I agree with you - it IS extreme; most adult men don't have such a co-dependent relationship with their parents..... But it's normal for them and, by the sound of things, it's been going on like this for years and I doubt anything will start to change now. And there's nothing YOU can do about it - it would have to be HIM. He's the only one who can make attempts to change the relationship he has with his parents - and it sounds like he's quite happy with the status quo.
I think it's a case of "like it, lump it or leave". If I were in your shoes and he was a great boyfriend in all other respects, I'd probably lump it (i.e put up with it) But it's up to you to decide whether it's a deal breaker for you or not.
I would, however, draw the line at him talking to his folks during sex. That would make me feel very uncomfortable and I think you should explain this to him.
You could encourage him to turn his phone off before sex (he can turn it straight back on when you're done if he really needs to). You can unplug the landline too if you like.
Or you could encourage him to talk to his parents first so there's less chance of them calling during the act.
But if he doesn't want to do any of these things, then you can't force him
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