A
female
age
36-40,
*eilie
writes:i'm in a relationship with a man who has someone else and she might be pregnant what should i do ?
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 August 2008): This is a very difficult question in deed. You can leave him because he has cheated on and you can not trust him anymore. The child will always be a reminder of his infedility. But it is also true that he might realize that he loves you more than he loves the mother of his child and support his child but commit to you. You need to decide if you are ready to go down that road because it is not going to be easy. When the child is small, h/she will always rely on his mother to build a relationship for him/her with the father and if you make any demands you will be the monster who does not want the father to bond with his child. You need also to realise that the child has no fault or sin, the child deserves to have a relationship with the father and you must not appear as if you are discouraging that so how are you going to be supportive when betrayal is still fresh? The other woman is also going to take advantage of the situation and she should because raising a child alone is the most difficult thing ever regardless of the reason how you got there. But who is to say if they have a child their relationship will prosper? Your man is a cheater and if he has not learnt a lesson here, tomorrow he could make another girl pregnant...remember also that at this stage he is very emotional and any decisions he makes will be envoloped with guilty so dont expect too much from him.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 January 2008): Hello,
In my situation and I am actually the other pregnant women in my own situation. This is a very hard thing to have to experience being as though I didn't find out about there relationship until months later. And by that time I had already fell deeply in love and then along came baby...It is extremely hard because I want a whole family more then everything. But the girl friend really just spend most of her time making things worst.....A child do need both parents together for a the sake of the child....My advice to you would be to just move on...there is alot of guys out there who would do you way better... Believe me if I would have known way in advance I would have thought differently....
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (13 October 2007):
A cheater simply won't stop cheating if you let them get away with it. No amount of verbal scolding and "putting him on the couch for a while" will substitute for just dumping him in this regard.
If you don't have kids with him, then LEAVE HIM. You're young. This is a VERY strong indication that he's not gonna make you a happy partner for your life. The more time you put into him now, the more time you're depriving yourself of someone better. Simple as that.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 October 2007): I'm sorry you never mentioned if this guy is your husband, I have a very different view, especially if you are willing to reconstruct your relationship, I think there are more things to consider, do you have children with him? If you do think long and hard about what to do
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A
male
reader, Tommy7  +, writes (10 October 2007):
He needs to support his child and you need to decide if you want to stay with him. Had he promised you an exclusive relationship. You need to be tested for disease.
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A
male
reader, Frank B Kermit  +, writes (9 October 2007):
 Was this an open relationship or was there a cheat going on here?
In eitehr case, the answer is the same. The couple with a child takes precidence. Stay out of it for now. If the child is his, stay out of it completely for his child's sake. If it is not his, you can resume then be careful.
-Frank B Kermit
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A
female
reader, TasteofIndia +, writes (9 October 2007):
 If he has someone else, regardless of pregnancy, you should leave this guy. Never give your heart to someone who won't return the courtesy of giving you their whole heart back.
Regarding the pregnancy, if she is carrying his child, you still need to leave. Give them (and the future baby) a chance for family and find someone who will treat you right.
Good luck, sweetness.
xxIndia
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 October 2007): Run like Hell!!! This is certainly not a relationship. It is a bloke having the best of both women. Sorry but i cant believe you are putting up with this. He has another woman and you are putting up with it, er, what do you hope to gain, a medal. Tell him to get lost. If he has another woman pregnant then the child must come first and you will be way down the line. Get him out of your life NOW!!!
Take care
xxx
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 October 2007): Agreed. It's time for you let go, dear and never look back. If he had a gf on the side..this has never been about 'you and him'. Plain to see, he's been having sex with another woman while dating you, and she is now going to give birth to their child. I hope he has intentions of stepping up to the plate and taking responsibility for his child. If so, then you and I know, they will become a family. This pregnant female will need all of your bf's love affections and support, during this very emotional time. He will need to focus his energies on his family in order to provide a good, happy future for this child. One of the most important things he has to do now, is commit himself to his pregnant gf. The child will benefit from Mom and Dad loving each other. Plainly he hasn't done that so far, has he..having you available for his fun and games on the side. It is time for him be a responsible, trustworthy man. I'm not sure if he will do this...but let's hope. But he is going to be a Father...give him the opportunity to prove to himself that he can be a great father and a man with some integrity. The only way he can do this, is for you to tell him goodbye, forever and never contact him again. Once you have done that, sit and reflect about yourself and what led you into this situation with a man who did this, to begin with. Heal from this, there are a lot of wonderful, single men out there for you to date. This could be the beginning of truely living a good, quality life and finding out 'who' you are and why you did what you did. Take this negative and turn it into a positive life path for yourself. The choice is yours. Take care, dear and good luck in your future.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 October 2007): Leave him. What other choice is there for any self-respecting person who cares about themself. Life is not a soap opera, before you know where you are you will be 34, with no partner just a string of heartbreaks and an inability to ever trust anyone again. You will be a desparate person longing for a family and children, but completely unable to select the right person to be a father to them. When you make thse bad decisions about who you want to be with, you cause your inner self great damage. You may not see that now, but you will later. I promise you it is true.
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