A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi. I've been with my boyfriend for almost a year now and things are at the point where we are discussing maybe sharing a flat together next year. Recently (about 2 weeks ago) his mum died of cancer and I've really tried to be there for him as best as I can. I understand he is going through a bad time and will be dealing with it in his own little way, but lately he's started drinking. Everyone is allowed to drink, but 2 weeks ago he was strictly teetotal. He's now drinking straight vodka on nights out and people refer to him as "not so heavyweight". He gets really drunk. I know he is dealing with things as best as he can but I worry this will get out of control. I've tried saying to him just to be careful and to stay safe, but he gets angry about it. I'm worried how far this will go and the effect all of this will have on him. In the last 2 weeks he's been a different person. He's stopped being affectionate, he's stopped phoning me and texting me and he's completely closed down and started drinking. I know he loves me but I'm worried about what's going on in his head. I have issues with paranoia and I can admit to that, so if you think I'm over reacting just say.x
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male
reader, Tommy7  +, writes (5 October 2007):
All you can do is warn him and keep your distance. You may be lucky to see this flaw in his character before you invested too much in him emotionally.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 October 2007): Well I can relate to what your boyfriend is going through as I did exactly the same when I lost my parent. The mixed emotions the hurt, anger, sadness are just so unbearable to live with. You must be there for him, but you must let him deal with his grieving in his own way. I know you say he is drinking, but I am sure this is only a phase to help get him through it. Even though you think he's drinking too much, there is nothing that you can say or do at this time to make things better for him. All I can say to you is try and avoid any conflict with him and let him be. the last thing you want to do is nag him about it because I assure you it will only make things worse. In time he will come around but it could take weeks or even months. You will have to put him and his feelings first and I'm sure a few months down the line he will be grateful you stuck by him in his hour of need. Hope this helps.
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