A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:I am a 43 yr old Englishwoman. My boyfriend is 24 and from an Eastern European country. We work together and have lived together for over 2 yrs. We are totally in love but his mother doesn't approve of our relationship. Our problem (his mother) only becomes an issue for us when he goes home as I'm not invited. She has intimated that if we continue our relationship, she will disinherit him. He is torn between us both and we are so unhappy. I have tried to end it and be strong but it is breaking our hearts. Should I be the one to end it knowing it will be the hardest thing I have ever had to do? I am inconsolable at the thought of being without him and it is affecting my job. Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 July 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionJust to clarify things.I have met his mother twice on short holidays with my partner to his home. She always seems very polite and friendly enough but not exactly welcoming. She has told him I am too old for him and what if in the future he decides he wants a family, or how will I fit in with their culture or religion(catholic)or how will i find work if I cannot speak the language. Then on another occasion she said I could work in her shop. maybe it was a sour joke.
I have welcomed his father and sister into our home when they came to visit, why doesn't she see how happy her son and I am and see past the age gap.
A
male
reader, Uncle Trev +, writes (21 July 2007):
His mother is using the inheritance as her last weapon so to say.
What is it about you that she does not like - I gather nothing important as she has not met you and also by the sound of it refuses to do so.
The one I feel sorry for is your boyfriend who does not need this. So she cuts the inheritance - he cuts contact with her.
Is your relationship strong enough for this? - If it is then go for it and you never know - given time she may come around to the situation no matter how much she may disaprove at the moment.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 July 2007): Hi, i don't think that you should end your relationship with him because of his mum. Personally she is not going to be around forever or be there for him. I may sound selfish but you should do what makes the 2 of you happy as your'll are the ones in the relationship. If what your'll have is true love, you both would conquer all obstacles and be end up together forever
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 July 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI have visited his home twice. Both times I was made quite welcome.His sister and Father have both been here to work and have stayed at our home, his mother is unable to take a holiday as she has her own business and doesn't trust anyone to look after it while she takes a break. Perhaps I over-reacted when I heard the news that he was going home without me again. He didn't tell me in the best of situations....and of course I was hurt. It later transpires that he is going home to help his uncle with a house reconstruction. Thanks to those who replied.It gave me another perspective on our relationship, but we are staying together. We can't live any other way.
Thanks.
...............................
A
female
reader, flower girl +, writes (26 June 2007):
 Try putting yourself in his mothers shoes and think how you would feel, her son is in a different country living with a women who with no disrespect to you could possibly be the same age as herself, she is probably just concerned for him more than anything, i think you two really need to discuss this in great length as he could end up losing his whole family over this and if thats something he understands and is prepared to do then so be it.
Take care.xx.
...............................
A
female
reader, YummyMummy +, writes (26 June 2007):
 What does your boyfriend think of the matter. If he wants to be with you risking the loss of his mother then you should stay. Talk to each other and you find find you come to a decision together rather than both going through the torment you are going through at the moment.
xxxxx
...............................
|
