A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I have been friends with my boyfriend for 5 years and we always knew we had feelings for each other but it was not the right time. we have been a couple for the past 4 months. and I drive an hour to go see him few days a week because it is easier for me and I love it. i dont mind it. but in the last 3 weeks I have not been able to see him because his mother is going through chemo and it is better that she stays with him which is amazing and i admire him for it, but whenever I ask him, I have these days to come see you let me know if it is possible, he never answers me the question that i ask and i feel i am begging and i hate that. I told him that in order for our relationship to grow and build we need to spend more time together and comunicate better and share. we do talk on phone and text and we talk about how we feel and we both love each other but i dont know where do we go from here or what should I say. i have told him I dont want a relationship that i see him once a month. i am confused and frustrated. its like he loves me but he does not show it. PLEASE HELP ME UNDERSTAND. i am supportive of him helping his mom and everything but i need to know where we stand.
View related questions:
text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious  +, writes (27 August 2018):
 I second everything Aunt Honesty has said. As you have known this guy for a number of years as a friend, this is the time to really show what a good friend you are by supporting him through what has to be a very difficult time for him and his mother.
He must be very worried about his sick mother at the moment. While I do understand that you want your relationship to grow (it is still new and very exciting for you), the last thing your boyfriend needs is for you to be demanding his attention while he is trying to support his mother.
Remember, this too will pass. Once his mother is well again, he will be able to devote more attention to you and he will be grateful for the support you showed him when he needed it.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 August 2018): Please understand he is going through though time. I been in same situation . My ex always complained but I was going through a lot of depression physically and mentally
...............................
A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (27 August 2018):
 He is going through a tough time at the moment, so I understand why you wouldn't be at the top off his list. His mother is fighting cancer and he is doing everything he can to help her. I think you need to give him some space. I get that you don't want a relationship that is only once a month, but it has only been the last three weeks, you need to cut him some slack. It is not a good idea having people at the house if his mother is going through chemo she probably shouldn't be around people because her immune system will be pretty low and she could risk getting an infection. I think you need to try and support him at this time by telling him to take some time to look after his mother, I am sure he doesn't need the added pressure from you. You have knowing him for a long time, try and remember that this will only be short lived.
...............................
A
female
reader, Andie's Thoughts +, writes (27 August 2018):
 Seriously? It's only been three weeks. She's going through chemo, which makes people very ill. She is his mum and deserves more of his time, like she dedicated to him, than you do as a new girlfriend.
Keep talking on the phone. Let him know you'd like to meet up when he has the time. Then drop it for a month. If it doesn't get better by then, bring it up again. If it still doesn't improve, then maybe you're not meant to be more than friends.
...............................
|
