A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi everyoneMy BF grew up in a broken family. His mother cheated on his father, she also lied couple of times. She tried to come back to his father many times (11years on and off), but only to use him and than go back to someone else. My BF stayed w his father, meanwhile his mother has his two sisters (older than him). He hates his mother and they are not talking at all due to some problems from last year (she not talking to him for a half a year and than suddenly calling on his Bday like nothing ever happened).My question is ... What kinda side effects this could leave on my BF? He is very stubborn. And even tho he saiz he trusts me, I dont think he does. Every time I go out alone (and thats really not often) the next day he saiz things like"So how many guys did you fuck last night" ... etc. That are very painful to me! He also doesnt want to compromise at all!!!!! For example, I do everything he wants to do, cause I love him and I want to see all his hobbies and try liking them too .. but he wont do anything i like (even a stupid walk on a beach)cause he doesnt like it and thats it!!! Also he is not big of a gentleman - leaves me w 10shopping bags in the car meanwhile he is going home empty handed! On the other hand .. he is a very loving and sensitive person and I lovehim to death. He is all I ever wanted .. I am just affraid that there could be things in his head he is not telling me and I will be surprised one day when they come out ... So does anyone have any idea or experience with such a problem from past?Thank you all
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 May 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionYes, he talks to his father on daily baces. They are very good friends.
His father still loves his mother and wants her back, but she doesnt know what she wants, She just likes to use everyone and than leave!!! She does not have any kinda drug problems or any other seriousu problem.
He is very stubborn and wont call her untill she calls. And I have the feeling that even if she calls him, he will hang up on her or have a nasty phone call over and over again.
I tried talking to him, but he is very hurt and doesnt want to talk about it much,cause he feels it wont get better anyway so why bother.
THANK YOU FOR YOUR HELP
T
A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 May 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHe spoke to her two months ago .. on the phone ...
He told her how much she is hurting not only his father by coming back and forward all the time, but also him. His father still loves her and is trying hard to understand her and maybe get her back ... but she is such a liar and just has serious mental issues I would say.
He was heartbroken after he spoke to her and told her, to not call him untill she seriously figures out what she wants in her life and that he doesnt care if she will be iwth his dad or the other guy, but she has to stop coming back and forward and hurting everyone around her by doing this ...
SHE NEVER CALLED BACK !!!
I want to help him, but I dont know how
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 May 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks to all of you ...
Just to make it lil more clear...
My boyfriend is not a bad person at all and would never hurt me in any way!! He is lovely, friendly and spends all his free time with me. He is not abusive at all and I am not affraid that he would hit me or even cheat on me. I know I can trust him. The problem is, that I dont know how to show him, that I am NOT his mother and I WILL NOT do what she did to him.
I can't just go streight to him and tell him that, because he will think I am too much in his business ...
He did tell me the whole story and he tells me everything from his past. I know about all his ex GFs, his problems, loves,hates, ... everything I ask him, he answers with no guestion. I dont have problem getting informations about his past out of him, because he told me, ha has nothing to hide and he wants meto know everything
I am just trying to figure out, how to show him, I am not what she was and he can completely trust me and also try to be more compromising with me and lil more gentleman.
I love this man with all my heart and I want to marry him and have family with him and I just want to make sure that I do everything thats in my power to make him feel that I am the one and I am not going to hurt him like his mother did.
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 May 2008): Hi Hunny
Yes this can and by the sounds of things has had an affect on how he views women in general...If you can try and talk to him about your feelings and ask him if going to counselling would be of help to him as its hard to grow up like this and not be affected at all sweetheart..Try and do it in a way that offers support rather than saying he has a problem if ya get me love as he obviously has alot of stuff going through his head and when your out the coments made are obviously connected to his mum, He needs to get some help to understand that not all women will let you down and not all women will behave like this, But being your mum thats moulded your upbringing and growing up seeing your dads pain will have left a mark hunny, Message me if you need a chat I HOPE THIS HELPS SWEETHEAR WITH LOVE N HUGS MANDY XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
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