A
female
age
30-35,
*CC26
writes:I have been going out with my boyfriend for over 2 years and last thanksgiving (11/26/09) my boyfriend's mom introduced me to her friends (who btw already knew me from previous meetings) as Ervin's aquaintence from school.1) I'm his girlfriend, for over! 2 freaking years 2) He doesn't even go to the same school as me anymore...My mom talked to me about this that it's only going to get worse, because there is more that his mom has done... that are suttle but still mean... like...*Taking a two week trip to wildwood without me after i took him on all my family vacations from the moment i started going out with him*Making no one ask where i'm from because i'm not albanian*Speaking albanian to me when she can speak english fluently and clearly and know's i don't know how to speak albanian.So here's my question:should i keep up with this relationship and hope for it to get better?or if i am to break up with him how? he is to possessive of me for me to break up with him it's hard to; i've already tried 122379 times (possibly more) Reply to this Question
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female
reader, DrPsych  +, writes (7 December 2009):
 My husband is Macedonian - next door to Albania on the map. His parents don't speak english, but I have tried to learn a little Macedonian. If this relationship is to carry on, I suggest that you attempt to learn a little of the language and learn about the culture. This is not for the sake of his mother but for him really. He is probably stuck in the middle between his loyalty to her, and his love of you. It can be a tricky situation but you have to decide what to do for the best. Personally I ditched an ex-boyfriend just because his mother was so awful once, no cultural barriers though! I persisted with my husband because I thought he was worth the effort and tried to fit in with his family a little bit - it worked, they respect my attempt at trying.
If she really hates you then you will never change her mind and she will never see you as part of the family. However, if you are willing to accept that your relationship with her will always be bad, but you love him all the same then accept the situation for what it is. If you went on to marry him later on, you could always move away from his immediate family.
A
female
reader, YaTuSabes +, writes (7 December 2009):
Youre young, you can find a better, less stressful relationship. i mean if you were head over heels, id said deal, but if you keep trying to break up with him, then it isnt worth it. good luck.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 December 2009): Run girl run for the dam hills! Nothing like having a monster in law to make your life hell! Dump him! She's a b@tch. Not worth it.
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A
female
reader, pinktopaz +, writes (7 December 2009):
It's a different culture, and in those cultures, the parents typically want their children to be with someone from the same culture. If you're not, then they don't have much respect for you.
No, the relationship won't get any better. Your mother is right, it will only get worse. Imagine if you two got married, she would probably deny you even more and feel like crap! I've known from some cultures if they aren't of "full blood" they'll even deny their grandchildren. If you marry him, you marry the family, and unfortunately his mother is part of that and she'll only get worse.
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