A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Me and my boyfriend are 20 years old and we live with our moms! His mom is controlling and it seems like we can't enjoy our own relationship without her telling us what we can and can't do. I feel like we are in middle school or something... she gives him curfew, we have to keep the door open when we're in his room, she has even told us not to see each other so much... and I feel like what is it your business how much we see each other, but now I'm talking too much, I could go on for hours about what she does. My mom doesn't have any rules except when she is sleeping to keep it down. When I told his mom about mine she had the nerve to say that my mom didn't care about me... my mom just trusts me A LOT more than she does him.... but anyways plz help!!!! what should I do? Do I leave or hope that things will change and get better? HELP! Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (12 January 2009):
 It's always hard when kids live at home. Parents believe that they need to follow the same rules as they did before they turned 18. In a way, I can respect that. If she pays the rent, the food, the utilities, it's her rules.. Don't you think?
I understand that your mom is more relaxed, because she trusts you. I doesn't mean she doesn't love you, not one bit. Don't forget not everyone is raised the same way. And not everyone parent the same way.
If you are both 20, maybe it's time for him to move out on his own. If not, then I would suggest spending a little time as possible at his house.
Most likely she isn't too happy about him not being a kid no more.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 January 2009): You have it good but the way his mum treats him, well maybe it's time to move out. But if he's happy with the way his mum treats him, well then you should move on. Big mummy boy alert if he dosen;'t realize how far his mum going
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 January 2009): Spend less time at his mum's house if she's such a nuisance. Anyhow, at your age I would expect you either to be at college of some sort or working. If it's the latter then why don't you think about getting your own place where you don't have to live by anyone else's rules. Your mum sounds really cool, but his mum might just not like having someone else around the house, which is fair enough really, if a little unreasonable. See if he wants to move out- you're both adults now.
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A
female
reader, sheribaby38 +, writes (12 January 2009):
 well how about you and your boyfriend get your own place and then you can do what you want.
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A
female
reader, im_a_dummy +, writes (12 January 2009):
 ummm... i would just tell his mom u guys broke up or sumthing, and sneak around, you would have more freedom to tell his mom he is going on a guys night out with a few guy friends, and renting a hotel room, or just going back to ur house sounds like.. thats probably wat i would do, but im young and dont know much. srry not much of a help.
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