A
female
age
36-40,
*07xoxo
writes:Dear Cupid,I've learned a lot from my ex, S., and I am grateful that he taught me I could love again. We never made it to an exclusive relationship, and we were dating for about two months. We broke it off half a month ago. I am 20 and S. is 33, and although he knew some tricks, we were close in maturity levels. He's back in town and called me about something trivial, and I think he wants to see me. [He called me last week, about how he found cheap stainless steel waterbottles he had been looking for.]This is our "short" history. Mistakes are numbered 1-6 I ended a 2-year depressing, boring relationship, and I was on the rebound, not ready for anything serious. A week or two later I finally went out with Mark, the hot therapist I met in my 10-day health class. After the 10 days were over, we had [1] sex on the second date [it was a great date], I hung around his place [2] for 3 days. Then he leaves for three weeks, and asks me not to sleep with anybody else, [3] I agreed. I freaked out a little because he wanted commitment. And, [4] although I agreed not to, [5] I slept with someone else [not normal behavior on my part]. Then I almost did it again! [6] I told him. And he cried but "forgave" me, and acted like it wasn't a big deal, and he "had to take it slower" with me.At this point I realized that I had strong feelings for him, too. I told him that I loved him. He stopped telling me that he loved me. We were probably screwed at this point. We resumed plans for me to visit him in another state [planning on going to the beach, anyways]. The visit was fun, especially the first day or two...but he seemed more and more emotionally detached, it hurt a lot. I said I was going to go [day 4], and he was disappointed and surprised. We both got sick so I stayed longer, and we took care of each other. He kissed me goodbye and I went on to more travels after 5 days together.Back from our visit, my calls drop off because I feel hurt, and I am busy getting relationship advice. A week or two later, I call and calmly tell him that I wanted better treatment [I was specific]. Mark got angry, said he didn't think I was relationship material [because I mentioned I was dating other men, although we had agreed that was okay] and he didn't want to pursue anything further. I figured that he never forgave me for sleeping with that other guy, and he agreed.But he wanted to hang out with me back in my city. The irony is that I am "relationship material." I am very loyal, reliable, cool and loving in a relationship. At first I was on the rebound and not ready for anything, but after realizing my feelings, I kept dating other people until I was sure about him, [even though I really wanted him]. S. has personal problems [trust issues, depression] and I think we both had problems communicating. He works in my town 15 days out of the month.I think he was angry at me, and/or bored "familiarity breeds contempt." I think I have another chance, but we should continue to date other people as we get to know one another. I love him. I'm going to be cool, and friendly and seduce him [but not sleep with him until he's mine]. Is this a huge mistake?Sincerely,Pearl
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, 007xoxo +, writes (12 January 2009):
007xoxo is verified as being by the original poster of the question My mistake.. S, Steve, and Mark are the same person!
I was giving him a fake name and change mind half-way through!
Thank you!
A
male
reader, dr. love  +, writes (12 January 2009):
Hi pearl!
You told you "wanted" Mark! You want him for what? For sex?
But for Mr. S your not ready to sleep with him but you told that you slept to some guys you dated after Mark? Don't make a promise to anybody if you cannot keep it! Just enjoy a single life! Because you don't have to chose whom to love lrt the love chose you! Hope you feel me!!!
Just enjoy and it will come!
Good luck!
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