A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:ok this is for anyone but i need advice from as many males as poss please. its a long one.I was kind of seeing this guy ill call X. anyway i took his best mate somewhere as a favour as he can't drive, when i was dropping his mate off he rang X up and said what i was doing and taking him to even tho nothing would or never happened between his mate or me, i went into his house as i was upset was his mate trying to play us off against each other. X got all funny about it saying never talk to him again,i later went round his house and stayed the night so why did X say that to me in the first place.then a few days later i went round X's house again but could not get in so i was knocking on his window and talking to his neighbours did i do wrong? i got in in the end though and then in front of his mates i asked if i did anything wrong, did i humiliate him?After all this he said we should be mates and that he did not feel the same way. did i really do something that wrong to make him do this i've not heard from him since. in the end i never did have sex with the guy i was seeing could that have put him off also please help. thank you xx
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male
reader, Dazzerg +, writes (7 February 2008):
 I don't think the lack of sex is an issue here, what is an issue is that you giving his mate off triggered off an insecure response. X's mate really did a number on him because he knew exactly how to work him up; maybe there is some past between them with regard to girls, who knows. Maybe it is just a male pride thing but I doubt it, it seems to me like there is a deeper issue. From what you are saying here you too weren't on a firm footing yet and he's decided to cut and run.
You didn't do anything wrong however I don't see there being an awful lot you can do to change things; what you might like to do is easing back a bit, try being his friend and see if you can restablish that connection you had and maybe he will open up to you in time. Good luck :)
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