A
male
age
51-59,
*az2820
writes:Worst Boxing Day Ever.Hi,Boxing day, my wife of 4 years says "i dont love you any more,ive felt like this for the last 6 months".Our mariage is over,w'eve been together for 10 years in total.I am having a very difficult time coming to terms with this and just dont know how to behave at home any more,whats worse is that our 9 year old daughter does not yet know.I still love her to bits but she says that she no longer wants the married life and there is no chance of fixing it,she cannot turn her feelings on and off.Can any one advise me how to cope over the coming months?? Reply to this Question
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reader, Daz2820 +, writes (7 January 2008):
Daz2820 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHow can i ignor the feelings i still have for my wife,it hurts every time i see her,and it hurts when she goes out,i cant win.....
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 January 2008): I had a similar conversation with my husband (he wants a divorce) on Xmas Day. I know that these kinds of days often bring feelings to a head and that emotions come out. Its as if the 'perfect Xmas Day' as brainwashed on us by the media makes us realise how imperfect life is. My best advice to you is to ride things out for a little while longer - let some dust settle. Try and sit down with your wife and talk about anything - doesn't have to be the topic itself. You can be 'on ice' for a while - and agree this - so that you can both have time to adjust to this new set of feelings and the revelation of what has been said. You are both adults and can respect each other for this at least - particularly as you have a child involved. I am not saying she will change her view but it is important that the shock and trauma can be dealt with. This may help you too and the actual split (if it occurs) can be planned and organised in a less dramatic way. One step at a time. The most important thing is to try and understand the situation and at least accept a holding position for now. You cannot drift but if you can, let things unfold a little longer. I'm sorry you have experienced this. I think, like me, many will be in the same situation. All the best.
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A
male
reader, Daz2820 +, writes (4 January 2008):
Daz2820 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHere we again another moment of struggle for me,she is having a bath,something i always got ready for her,this makes me feel even more not wanted.Some thing else has started also,the freindship between my wife and daughter has taken on another chapter.Up until the last 12 to 18 months when i have been working away on weekdays,i had the best rapor with my daughter and she was always a daddies girl,this came from always making the effort during the years up to now.My wife and her always seemed to have a clash of peronalities until now,now they seem to be getting on like a house on fire.I still have a good rapor with my daughter and still make the effot,but this new atmosphere is difficult to cope with.I am currently looking to re mortgare the house in my name as we both think that my daughter will want to live with me,time will tell,will i get the loan?will she want to live with me and will i be able to juggle this with my job?
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A
male
reader, Daz2820 +, writes (4 January 2008):
Daz2820 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionA big thank you to all so far,it is helping to see how others have coped in this situation.What i am finding hardest at the moment is how to act.We are still living together as there are lots of things to sort out as you know,but i cannot just turn off my feelings for her, i still want, and do cuddle into her first thing in the morning as i always have,when i asked is this wrong,she says that she is not returning the feeling,however it is at present helping me (setting myself up for a big fall when she wont let me near her more like)This has got to be a strange situation to be in,she has said she has no feelings,and says she will keep it all amicable for our daughters sake?No wonder my brain is fried...
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A
female
reader, TELLULAH +, writes (4 January 2008):
 Hi, Sorry to hear that, its a horrible thing to happen. My ex husband walked out on me years ago on Christams day, after lunch of course. He left me with two young children, totally distroyed, so I know where you are coming from. My ex left me for another Woman, although I didnt find out, until a month or so later.Anyway, I am living proof that you can and will get over it. It takes time of course, but eventually you will get there. Keep yourself busy, and try to stay with mates that will cheer you up and keep your chin up.XXX
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (4 January 2008): Just continue as normal. Is she expecting you to sort out \all the messy stuff, and solicitors.Shes looking for you to leave and then move on into single bliss with your daughter. Its a contagious disease.Good luck
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