A
female
age
30-35,
*range26
writes:Okay so I've been dating this guy for almost 2 years now and so far its been great. I've never met anyone like him. we were best friends before and ever since we started dating, we would act different than most couples our age (were teenagers). So basically I love him but he's always had extreme jealousy issues. I've never actually kept anything from him because I have a really guilty conscience so I always end up confessing whenever I did something wrong. I have a close guy friend that he's never liked, but he still respected my decision to stay friends with him. I would never actually cheat cause he means too much to me. But recently I had my guy friend come over my house even though I knew it would upset my boyfriend. I felt like he had no trust in me and idk I didn't wanna listen to him. When my friend left, I had a talk with my mom and I told her I didn't really think it was a big deal but I'm starting to think it was wrong and I should tell my bf. She said not to tell him because it would start a fight over something that's stupid. So I decided to keep it a secret.. About a week later, my boyfriend found out through facebook and has refused to talk to me ever since. He feels like I completely disrespected him even though he knows deep down I never cheated! I completely regret it but its too late. He told me he wanted to take a break and I was really mad about it. I basically kept on calling and texting him even though I knew I was pushing him away.. He said he wanted his space and I wasn't giving it to him. He said he's confused and he just doesn't wanna think about me right now and he doesn't want a gf right now. He just wants to be completely alone so he can think. He told me time heals all wounds and asked me to stop trying to go after him. To let him be the one to come after me when he's ready. I asked him how long is this going to take? And he said he honestly doesn't know. I told him I was scared that he'd eventually get over me and just not wanna get back together after the break and he said he needs me to trust him and that he's gonna come back. I asked him why was he so sure of it? And he said cause "I just know myself" . So we hung up with the deal that we would have no communication until he was the one to come after me. I have no idea what to do. I wanna know how long this is going to last . Like for example, if it passes 2 months and he still hasn't talked to me does that mean its just over for sure ? Or is there still a chance . I want to know how long I should give him before trying to move on completely . Please help :(
View related questions:
a break, best friend, facebook, get back together, jealous, move on, text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (22 February 2011):
 Breaks are a "temporary" break up. The one who wants the break usually specifies a time line of when you two will resume contact and discuss where you two stand. It could be weeks to a matter of months. There's no telling.
It's not a very good sign if he couldn't put a time line on it..then again he may want time to sort out his jealousy issues (which needs work). If that's his goal then this break is going to take months.
In my opinion, breaks are a silly waste of time. People use them for a nice way to dump another person when they're really just stringing them along, to date other people, and very few people use them for their intended purpose.
What he got all pissed off for wasn't that big of a deal. You didn't cheat. If anything he needs to work on his trust in you, because it doesn't exist. This is why the relationship failed, because of no trust. Now once he fixes that part then this relationship just might work.
In your given situation, I can tell you love him but you don't want to wait around for nothing. So I would give it maybe 2-3 months at the most then let it go for good. It's not ideal to put your love life on hold for him when he may or may not come back to you.
A
male
reader, Tatumokeef +, writes (22 February 2011):
 I've seen this happen with a lot of my friends and couples around me at school. I never understood why guys get so jealous when their girlfriend hangs out with a friend and even tells him about it.I think the issue is your boyfriend and his trust issues, like you said. That is the most important part of the relationship, trust. If you can't trust them to hang out with a friend, there's no point in dating. It's only going to lead to fights and stress. Ask yourself if you really want to continue fighting over who you can and cannot hangout with because someone is jealous. Shouldn't telling him that you love him and only want to be with him be enough? He should realize that you've been together for 2+ years and have built a relationship of trust. If someone cheats on the other, they will find out and it will be for the better. Waiting for him may be a good idea, he might realize hes being insecure and that hes throwing away someone that loves him and cares about him a lot. If 2 months pass and he still hasn't talked to you, its not worth it for you. Why should you wait around in pain wondering what hes going to do about the situation. Give him an ultimatum if you want. Theres no time-frame on these kind of decisions, its really up to what you want to do. If you think hes worth it, keep trying. If not, move on and see what he does.
...............................
|
