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female
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anonymous
writes: I have been with my boyfriend for nearly two years, and we have been living together in his house almost a year (I have a flat of my own which I now rent to someone else). Personally I would like to marry this guy. The problem is that, although he has told me it is a long-term relationship and he sees our future together, he just doesn't seem to be interested in marrying me. About six months ago we were round a friend's house and our friend ask, "So when are you two going to get married?" And my boyfriend just said: "You must be joking!" To me this was really hurtful, but I didn't say anything at the time. I do want more commitment from the relationship, and his solution is for us to buy a house together. To be honest, I don't want us to buy a house together unless we are married and based on what he said I really don't think that he does want to marry me. So, when I said that wasn't enough for me and I couldn't necessarily afford to buy a house right now he asked me, "What the hell do you want then?" He said that I keep moving the goalposts.In my heart I can't bring myself to say what I really want, because by what he said he hasn't given me any indication to think that marriage is what he wants.We have talked about having children, and he seems fairly keen to do that at some point in the future. So, is it just me that he doesn't want to marry? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 February 2006): Do not force yourself into something you don't want to do.
I faced the same situation as you do, but the more i am trying to get things work out, the worse it is getting..
I simply do not want to tell him straight away that i want to marry with him some point in the future, but i was rather disappointed to hear him replying his friend in that way when he was asked when he will marry me.
The more desperate you get about this situation, the more hurtful his words will be. Nothing seems to work out.
I tried everything and did my best to resolve the problem. i finally left for good.
I guess he will only realise what he wants when he lose it. For men, marriage seem to be a scary thing to them. I don't know why. But i just feel wierd that if a man love you and stay with you for years and even talk about having babies and stuff.....he gets freak out when it comes to the point that when you want to marry...
I have lost my hope on man. Instead of waiting for someone to give me happiness, i have learnt to find happiness for myself and i did feel happier than before even though i am leaving alone now.
It is pathetic to say that i can provide myself those kind of happiness a man could provide me, but at least i am happy and statisfy with all i have. I live every day happily and have less problem to deal with compared with when i am in a relationship.
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