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female
,
anonymous
writes: My boyfriend and I are both 29 years old. He is the love of my life and the best person i have been with. We both always say how Much we love each other and have stated we want a future together. We are both saving at the moment but are thinking of moving in next year after getting finances etc in order.The only problem seems to be his friends. It's a very needy group. In my opinion they aren't as independent without each other as thu should be at the age of 28 and above. They call every single weekend and going out to a bar or even at all isn't always my first priority. My boyfriend aren't always together during the week so the weekend is our time to finally relax together and be together. I am always up for hanging out if it is what is really wanted but sometimes I wish they would back off.They bust his chops and make him feel guilty which my boyfriend does. I personally feel after a certain age how can you expect anyone to be available every weekend or every other weekend. My boyfriend has trouble too it seems. If he doesn't hear from one friend for only a week he will mention it. He also says he doesn't want them to think we aren't social as if we have something to do.His one friend has been calling to go out during the week with a few other people he knows. My b/f said he thinks he will go this week to make time for him..he did mention last week they probably do go out hoping to meet girls which doesn't leave him anywhere because he just wants to have a few drinks.I know these guys are immature, wreckless and looking to hook up..i know i trust my boyfriend but i still don't feel comfortable with the situation or him hanging out with them at a bar until 2am. Do I let it go until it becomes an often outing? Do i tell him i am not comfortable if you are going to be out until late at night and I feel if you are in a relationship it's a little disrespectful?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 July 2013): In relationships we all like to imagine that things should be spontaneous, no planning and everything just perfectly falls into place but unfortunately life gets in the way and that's just not the case. I had a similar situation with my boyfriend and we agreed early on to sort of set a schedule/agreement (in our case Mondays and Thrusday evenings, then sometimes on the weekends)-NOT the most romantic thing ever but honestly it helped a lot, now when he goes out I don't feel abandoned as soon as his phone rings. I would suggest the same thing with your bf. As for the 2am late nights, perhaps you guys could set a limit that works for you, ie every so often he stays out till whenever but not every time he goes out. Make sure it's not just you setting the schedule, you're not his mother and he's not a child but sometimes we all need to compromise in relationships, it's not all about what 1 person wants to do any more. More importantly calmly express WHY you feel that way (ie your time together is precious etc), so you don't come across as a spolit brat who just wants him all to yourself.Good luck
A
male
reader, Pac-Man18  +, writes (24 July 2013):
as a man with immature friends i can tell you do not mess with his friends. just enjoy the time you do get with him. furthermore if he truely loves you he won't hookup with anyone else.
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