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His friend is a coke addict who gets into trouble. Is it wrong for me to not want him to hang out with him?

Tagged as: Friends, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (9 March 2007) 6 Answers - (Newest, 10 March 2007)
A female United States age 41-50, anonymous writes:

Is it wrong for me to NOT want my boyfriend to go hang out with coke addict friend for a night? My boyfriend has done coke before, but hasn't for awhile. I'm afraid if he goes and hangs out with him, he'll do it and his friend has a habit of getting into trouble, I don't want my boyfriend to be involved in anything like this. Can someone please help!?

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A male reader, maxsteel86 United Kingdom +, writes (10 March 2007):

maxsteel86 agony auntYou wanna stop him, break his legs lol! No really though, talk to him and say it nicely how much it means to you that he's not a crack head and that you'll trust him not to do any drugs while he's there. That'd probably be the best way to prevent him from doing any of that. But keep in mind that he probably wont be able to refuse especially if he believes he wont get caught

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (9 March 2007):

Tell your boyfriend that if he starts hanging round with his friend who is a coke addict and starts coke again then there's a possibility that he'll develop a coke addiction and maybe get himself into trouble. Ask if that's what he wants. After all you do say that he's done coke before so it'll be easy for him to fall into a pattern again of taking coke. By the way when you say that he's tried coke before was that because this friend of his (the coke addict) was doing it? If so then he really should stop hanging round with him as he's going the same route as last time. If you really want him to either stop taking coke or not start it you could make an ultimatum, either you leave or he stops/doesn't start taking coke and persumably doesn't have around with his coke addict friend. That way you'll know which is more important to him, you or coke.

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A female reader, aunty t Ireland +, writes (9 March 2007):

aunty t agony auntYou are so right to be worried about this but unfortunately you cannot do anything to stop him. Try and talk to him and see if you can get through to him tell him how worried you are about him and its because you care about him. If he doesnt listen to you, you will have to let him make his own choices and hopefully he will have enough sence to do the right thing.

Best of luck

Aunty t

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A female reader, dickieysrojo United States +, writes (9 March 2007):

I don't think you are wrong not to want your bf to be around people who could negativly influence him. From personal experience he will be highly tempted to use again and may not have the will power to say no. Simply explain to him your concern and pray he decides wisely(for his sake and your sanity)

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A male reader, kenny United Kingdom +, writes (9 March 2007):

kenny agony auntIt is perfectly natural for you to not want your boyfiend to hang with this guy for a night. Your boyfriend has done coke before, so the likellhood of him doing some coke with this addict might prove to be somewhat tempting.

I would talk to your boyfriend and express your concern, tell him you don't think its a good idea. Tell him you don't want him involved in anything like this, then take it from there.

All the best x

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A female reader, KAZZ United Kingdom +, writes (9 March 2007):

KAZZ agony auntKnowing your boyfriend may take drugs again can be a worrying process. Of course you must accept that people can get addicted to drugs. I'm not saying your boyfriend is addicted, but sometimes temptation can beat the best of us. If he hasn't for a while then it does look promising that you can trust him not to fall into the 'drug trap'.

It's not wrong at all for you to feel this way. You must love him and anyone in your position would feel the same too. Don't worry. I suggest maybe sitting down with your boyfriend and telling him what you have told us. Say it to him plain and clear but don't seem too forceful. The last thing men want are for women to tell them what to do. Possibly give him the option to go out but explain how you hope he won't try cocaine again. If he knows this, the last thing he would want to do is 'betray' you.

Please don't worry about it, it seems as though you are able to trust your boyfriend not to fall into the 'drug trap' but in the back of your mind you don't want anything to happen to him because you love him. It's perfectly normal :-)

KAZZ x

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