A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi, I am 25 years old. Have been with my bf for over 5 years and we live together. We have a good sex lfe and he is so much into sex. He has strong sexual feelings about other girls too tho. He loves looking at photos of girls in the internet, not porn, but girls with sexy dresses etc. Though I am not completely happy with the fact that he admires other girls, it is a big sexual turn on for me at times. Sometimes I secretly watch him masturbate looking at girls' photos. Sometimes when we are in bed, if he thinks I am alseep, without waking me up he masturbates. At times I know he is fantasizing about other girls b'cos he murmurs their names. I go wild listening to him groan other girls names while he orgasms. And at times I too masturbate (without him knowing) just by listning to the sounds he gives out. We have even discussed what he would like to do with other women and I like it when he explains in detail how he would like to have sex with a particular girl.Deep down, this bothers me b'cos I feel no good girl would do such things. Why these things, which I'm sure I will never want in reality, are a big turn on for me in fantasy? Any problem with my psychology. I have had a perfect childhood and no other major problems in my life. Please tell me whether this is normal. Can there be others (particularly females) who do similar things related to their own boyfriend? Please help!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 October 2008): Hi DiovanLestat!
thanks a lot for your advise. You really made me ease the pressure on myself. And I value what you said about not making my fantasies a reality. I totally agree with you and will not do it ever in my life cos it will kill me if I ever did it. thanks again for your time and concern! :)
A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 October 2008): "I feel no good girl would do such things." Honeypie, please don't limit your world like this. We are all different, we like and enjoy different things, normality in sex is actually very difficult to find, who knows what goes on when people close the bedroom door. We women have been pushed by society to limit our desires and think them strange. There is nothing wrong with you, you are perfectly normal. Many women feel exactly like you and that doesn't make them strange or abnormal or even lesbian. Sexual fantasies are as old as the hills, please don't pressurise yourself to live up to the standard of a "good girl". Who are you hurting with your thoughts. Your thoughts are private, they belong to you and you alone, not anyone else. Your partner enjoys your fantasies, you enjoy them, just like some people like football and some people like ice-cream... Continue what your doing, your partner is probably thankful that he has found such a sexy partner like you. I don't have such fantasies, they don't turn me on. But I have others, and unlike you I am not brave enough to share them with the world.. lol.. :^)
PS: Please don't try to turn your fantasies into realities. Actually trying to arrange someone else to join you in the bedroom can spoil the fantasy and damage your relationship in a very big way... Now have fun and ignore the world and the stupid rules about what "good girls" should do, cause your one "bad girl" who is having a lot of fun.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 October 2008): I'm the one who posted the question. I'm glad to know at least there are 2 others like me in this world! ;) I'm so confused sometimes. There have been time I tried to force myself not think of him with other girls. But each time i fail. on times when i have stopped it for sometime and start again, the pleasure is so intense!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 October 2008): I can't believe you feel like I do. I consider myself a "good girl" & deep down, it hurts to think that my husband would be even fantasizing about other girls. Yet, it actually helps me reach orgasm to think of him having sex with other women. I'm not quite sure what is normal?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 October 2008): Nope. You're normal. Same here, except we share the same kind of fantasy of girl on girl, but they're imaginary, you know? Not anyone we've seen or know.
I'm not comfortable with him like actually looking at girlie pics and getting off. It bothers me a lot because of something that happened to me when I was little.
So you don't you feel kinda bad when its specific girls?
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