A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hello. My boyfriend has broken up with me for a bit over a month. We were each other's firsts and I'm really baffled of how he ended things so fast when everything still seemed fine within the same of week after we broke up and before that from friends he had the biggest crush on me for over 2 years. His excuse for not wanting to be with me anymore was because I was not affectionate enough. (thats what he told his friends). I guess you can say that is somewhat true and somewhat not because I grew up in family thats not all that affectionate towards each other however, its not like i rejected his kisses, refused to hold hands with him, not hug him..etc. I dont think he really thought this through or it wasn't the main reason he wanted to break up with me. I guess you can say I still miss him? I would like some closure at least, but I dont know how I can ever start talking to him again with me initiating the conversation. Can anyone give me some ideas?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 August 2007): He met someone else. If you want closure, all you gotta do is talk to his friends and tell them that you know he met someone else and to confess for him and that you won't tell him that the friend told you.
Or you could just confront him. And tell him that you know he met someone else and to at least be honest and admit that is the real reason you guys broke up and to at least explain himself.
A
male
reader, somewhat_anonymous +, writes (19 August 2007):
Exactly what Dazzerg said. You didn't refuse his affection, but it doesn't sound like you initiated it either. While that might be true, it does feel like that cannot be the only/real reason. If everything seemed fine and it broke off suddenly, there is something else. I don't know how you'd go about finding out, except trying to talk to him directly.If everything was truly great in his mind, it is entirely possible that he could be freaked out. It happens, like the fear of success. If the affection thing turns out to be the truth, he really should have talked to you about it first instead of just ending it.
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A
male
reader, Dazzerg  +, writes (19 August 2007):
 Did you ever initiate that kind of contact? From what you say of your background its possible that you didnt and from my own experience I can say that although you might not have refused it is sometimes nice for the other person to initiate. If they dont then it can often feel like a one-way street and its possible that this feeling of not having the feelings reciprocated eat away it him.
As to how to start a conversation I honestly think the best way is to start off light with just general chatter and go with the flow and see how things go from there. Hope that helps. Good luck.
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