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female
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*ikki866
writes: My boyfriend's ex-wife calls him constantly! They have no kids together, no property. He gave her $30K to move. She now lives in GA. We are in FL. We are planning to move in together. She cannot get over him and calls his cell 3x a day (sometimes more sometimes less) begging, crying, saying she cannot believe it's over and never wants another man. He HAS told her that it's over, that he has moved on and is moving in with me. She cannot believe it and is crushed. She calls all the time; he still has her cats which need to be shipped to her... He usually doesn't answer the call, lets voice mail take it, but on occasion does call her back if she calls 3+ times asking for a return call and this re-engages the whole discussion where he has to tell her it's over. He doesn't want to be cruel or do call-block or get a diff number, but what can he do short of being nasty? It is beginning to affect me and I feel it's interfering with our relationship. Am I wrong? Again no ties here... no kids or property. She moved July 4 2006 to GA. Help!!!
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female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (15 October 2006):
 He needs to change his number and stop communicating with her. And send her the damn cats. She is not going to leave you guys alone if you don't.
A
female
reader, Nikki866 +, writes (13 October 2006):
Nikki866 is verified as being by the original poster of the question They filed for divorce in November 2005, it was finalized in January 2006, and they got back together (she moved back in) in April of 2006. Then he met me, and he realized he did not want to repair things with her. In July of 2006 she moved to GA. So yes, they did give it another go to reconcile but he realized after getting to know me that we were a better fit, and that they would not overcome the problems they had prior to me which led them to the divorce in the first place. Now she is realizing that it's really over.... and she's losing her mind. She called 7 times last night, 8 this morning, all the messages are sobbing and guilt "you lied to me" "you abandoned me" "how can it be over" and he continues to calmly tell her WE ARE ALREADY DIVORCED and I MET HER MONTHS AFTERWARDS. (problem was, i think she realizes that he changed his mind about working things out with her after he found someone else) ~ She is not getting the hints at all... he has been calm but very blunt with her begging her to find someone else, get a life, send me a christmas card and call me next year to say hi, PLEASE... but don't call me every day anymore and please let me know what to do with these cats, as that's all we have left to discuss! Help....
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A
female
reader, pica +, writes (13 October 2006):
She keeps calling because she knows he'll call back. Get the cats to her (safely!) and any other of her property, tell her the hard truth and change all your numbers. Anything else is just dragging it out. Why won't he let go?? He'd be doing her a favour. (Is it possible they've split up before and got back together??)
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A
female
reader, beentheredonethat +, writes (11 October 2006):
 Yes, you need help. You need to take a deep breath and think about the fact that you have him and she does not. They were Married....not just living together....she has a million little things that need to be worked out..taxes, bills, her heart. If this is affecting YOU...it is because you are allowing it to bubble up all your insecurity. If you truly love him and trust him...you will support him in the way HE chooses to handle it and you won't put additional pressure on him by being a shrew every time she calls. He does not need to be nasty...simply firm. Don't act like this is some girlfriend he kicked to the curb...he is a man who has suffered the death of a marriage. Even though he is moving on...don't expect him to to erase his past for your benefit. She is being a childish, lost Baby....yes. Is he going to see the parallels in that you are being a jealous pouty baby? No...you are going to be the mature, placid SUPPORTIVE Woman...he needs.
If you allow Her to interfere with your relationship...she will. But don't teach him to be nasty....you might be his next Ex...and help him treat her exactly as you would wish to be treated if you were in her shoes. In the long run...that will probably impress him more than tears, screaming and having an argument every time he talks to her...I wish you luck.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 October 2006): In some ways its like my situation with my ex boyfriend. We split up 1 1/2 years ago. Like your boyfriend, we had no kids or ties of any kind but he just couldn't take the fact that we were finished. At the start he was ringing & texting me constantly begging me to take him back & give our relationship another go but I had outgrown it and already had made up my mind that there was no going back!!!
I tried everything from the softly softly approach to the super bitch but none of them worked! I'm with some one new now and we're trying to give our relationship a chance to grow. I told him the story from the start, and changed all my numbers, jobs, location - the works!! I only barely gave my numbers to those I knew I could really trust!!
But def change your numbers for a start!! If all that doesn't work, say to your boyfriend about getting a restraining order out against her.
But do let me know how it works out for you both and wish you all the best x
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