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female
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*mzy
writes: Please some one help me i need some advice. I am sixteen years old and very mature for my age i also look alot older, i usually get mistaken for being about 19-22. i have a older boyfriend who is turning 20 on Monday, he has recently gone back to uni. Before he left he used to be so loving and caring and wanted to spend all his time with me, but within a week of him being there he changed. He came back for the weekend and i hardly saw him and when i did he was nothing like his usual self when he went back to uni agin he didnt say he missed me once and when i would text him saying anything like that he wouldnt even say u2. So i went up last weekend to see him and he was fine with me but nothing like his old affectionate self he wouldnt even have sex with me. when i questioned him about it he said the age difference was worrying him.(he had been fine with it until he went back to uni)I spoke to him yesterday and now he says he wants some space to sort his head out and figure out what he needs. I have never felt so down and depressed in my life i cant concentrate on my job or sleep, i need him more than anything. how can i stop him from finishing it and figure out what went wrong and get things back to what they used to be?thankyou for taking time to read this. im open to any advice :)
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female
reader, emzy +, writes (11 October 2006):
emzy is verified as being by the original poster of the question to DrPsych,
Thankyou for your advice, If he wasn't still stringing me along i wouldn't be so worried i do let him have his freedom he gose out every night. I understand that people change at uni buit the problem is this is his second year there, truthfull i dont think he wants to be with me but hes not finishing it with me. and him not having sex with me was a bit of a kick in the face. whats wrong with him? x
A
female
reader, DrPsych  +, writes (11 October 2006):
 When people go to Uni. they sometimes change - new people, new experiences - you cannot change that and maybe you will change if you go to Uni. in a few years time. What you have got to realise is that you cannot control people or make them be with you - they just have to want to. It can, of course, be upsetting to hear your boyfriend telling you that they require 'space' but that is just what you have to give him. Making a big deal out of it will not add any dignity to the situation and you certainly cannot stop him leaving you. However, if you give him some freedom at Uni. he may get bored with his new preoccupations and realise what a big mistake he is making. If you are mature enough to have an older boyfriend, you also have to be mature enough to accept what will be, will be. Take Care!
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