A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend's ex girlfriend keeps calling us, stating shes pregnant with his baby, and wants him to go sign some papers to grant her full custody of the baby.This girl is supposly only 2 months pregnant, if she is pregnant at all.. She is a compulsive lier and is bypolar.. He is really stressed out and its starting to effect our relationship.I don't know if I should leave or stay with him... I told him to wait until she gives birth to the baby to make sure its his before he signs anything..and to see if she is really pregnant. What am I supposed to do? What is he supposed to do? Please help!
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female
reader, Bella55  +, writes (8 March 2007):
there is no need to stress until you know for sure that she is pregnant. Firstly she has to give him proof, a pregnancy test, or a blood test. He has the right to get one if he is the father. If she is and this is true, you have to really think carefully about the consequences its going to have in your relationship. Depending if your boyfriend wants to be involved in the pregnancy and his childs life. Which more likely he will. its a sticky situation and your lines of communication have to be completetly open and direct. Your boyfriend can also invite you to be apart of the pregnancy and his childs life. If she is being unco-operative about this all, either way you need to stand by your man and support him in whateva he chooses. One last thing: Sounds like she is manupilating the whole situation, because you can only sign custody papers AFTER the baby is born, and a blood test is done to confirm that in fact it is his baby. That is a whole different issue, where it takes lots of time and effort. Both papers will be sent to both parents, so its pretty much impossible, that anything can be done now. If he believes it is his child, then he can start paying child support by paying for half of her appointments, (remembering to keep the reciepts.) He does not have to pay anything until there is a blood analysis of him being the father, and she can keep her reciepts of all her appointments, and he can pay it at a later stage once confirmed it is his baby.
Goodluck, there is a big chance that she is talking s##t, and I wouldnt worry too much for now.
A
female
reader, aunty t  +, writes (8 March 2007):
 I agree with what you told him. You would not sign any papers until the baby is born and he is sure that the baby is his. I feel she is using emotional blackmail and probably isnt very happy with the two of you being together. You should tell him to talk to his ex and tell her that he will sort this matter out when the baby is born and he is sure he is the father. It must be a very stressful time for you both. You should support him and help him get through this. By leaving him you are giving his ex exactly what she wants. And she may not be pregnant at all but he does need your support. Let him know that you are there for him and this will make your stronger. He is probably very confused.Good luck.
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