A
female
age
51-59,
*orculan queen
writes:Update on his ex won't leave us alone -Harassing phone calls.Hi guys I have been dating a wonderful man for the past 6 months and his ex wife has been making harassing phone calls to my partner and I. I successfully had calls traced with the help of my telephone company and a warning letter was sent out.....TO ME! Yes, his ex has aquired a mobile phone on the 23rd of January 2008 in my name, my date of birth but used an old address when I lived with my abusive ex husband and used a fake drivers licence no as being my phone number from 7 years ago also when I lived with my ex husband. On the 24th of January I had 12 calls from her on this pre paid mobile in my name and she even impersonated my partner's family court lawyer. She has rung my work on this phone and my new partner. I am currently proceeding with fraud charges and this will involve federal charges so possible jail time. This woman has been warned not to harrass me or my partner in family court or she will lose her kids to my partner. The premeditation involved to impersonate me and get a phone to then ring me is really scary. For the record she had an affair for the last 12 months of their marriage after he had a car accident and then moved out with her fling and is still with him leaving my partner with the kids. I come on the scene a year and a half later and bang she suddenly wants to take the kids off him and takes him to family court. Ok she cheated and is engaged to be married so hasn't she moved on? Why now does she want to destroy him? My children are scared when the phone rings but now the calls have stopped but I wonder given the fact she is mental and has tunnel vision and is intent on harassing me and she knows my birthday and she works in a prison counselling violent inmates and gives them an early release from prison then what is in store for me? RCN are you there?
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affair, engaged, ex-wife, his ex, moved out, my ex, stalking, violent Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 April 2008): YES GOOD ADVISE!!!!!From male anon hunny is this poss for you to do? XXXXXXXX
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (22 April 2008): You seem to have done everything right. The only thing I'd add would be to get the phone service where you can specify which calls you won't take. Then you can add the numbers she uses and you won't even hear the ring.
The best thing you can do is be strong and consistent. Let your "bf" get thru his battles, offer any help he needs (eg babysitting), and erect what barriers you can against this ex.
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 April 2008): Bloody hell hun, I used to say the same its no point watching the soaps I live in one, You go out hunny and have a really great time. Im sure you are right about this phone call being something to do with her, And Im sure you partner is so stressed that to be having an affair just sounds stupid as if he hasnt got enough on his plate at the moment..DONT LET HER GET TO YOU!!!SHE IS THE WEAK!!!Or she wouldnt need to do all this to feel so empowered...YOU ARE THE STRONG!!!!!!Also men can live in domestic violent situations and they should report it and not feel ashamed your so right...Keep me posted and as always my prayers are with you LOVE MANDY XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
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female
reader, korculan queen +, writes (22 April 2008):
korculan queen is verified as being by the original poster of the questionwell Mandy I got a phone call at work today from an unidentified male asking specifically for me. He asked me if I was still going out with my partner and at first I thought it was an officer from the police station. I remained coy about this line of questioning. He went on to then say that I was a nice lady and he had met me a couple of times and that he thought I needed to know that my partner was having an affair for the last 3 months with a woman that works at Westpac Bank. Of course the news was unsettling but my suspicions were raised when he stated if I needed further information he would provide that to me tonight if I gave him my home number. My home number has recently been changed so I immediately suspected it to be my partners ex wifes new partner. I refused to give him my home number due to her ringing me on it. I offered to give my mobile number as I know they both have it but he declined that offer and said he would ring me in two weeks and give me his name and would ring me at work. I ran out of work stating briefly to my boss and workmates gathered around that I was going to vomit . A fellow workmate followed me out and said to ring my partner and relay the info once I had calmed down and not accuse him but just tell him the info. I did this and he said he knew the woman this man was talking about and that he was not having an affair as he doesnt cheat and that at the moment he is too stressed to see anyone. He said that since I gave him space which he appreciates her harassment has worsened and he did not tell his partner that we are taking a break but told this woman from the bank and this woman then told his ex wife who then rang and abused him on Saturday night while he had his children. He told me that when this woman spoke to his ex wife she launched into a verbal slanging match in front of the children at soccer. I have encouraged him to get a protection order application and swallow his pride as domestic violence happens to men and that just because he is a police officer and a male that this should not stop him getting the support he needs as this will make her pull her head in if others are aware of her behaviour. He works closely with our dv police officer and she would be more than happy to do up a police assisted application. So as a dv worker and female I am saying to all men out there who find themselves the victims of domestic violence to report it and not be ashamed. Anyway, going out to lunch and dinner tommorow to celebrate being beautiful, female and an absolute diva and goddess. I am one hot chicky mama and going out with my girlfriends to celebrate my curvaceous sexiness that embodies the real woman. Keep you posted on further developments. Dont bother watching bold and the beautiful my life is much better than a soap opera! Ha haa lol.
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 April 2008): Oh hunny
You sound a little cheered, You are right no good bottling it up the strongest of people would do best to cry it out, I cry all the time its like a pressure cooker hunny if you dont let off the steam then you will blow! Its great your keeping busy and it sounds like you have some wonderfull friends, Im glad he phoned you my fingers and toes are crossed for you and it will be a celebration of a day when she does get caught GOOD LUCK HUNNY XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
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reader, korculan queen +, writes (21 April 2008):
korculan queen is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHe texted me today and I played it cool. We have a dv march coming up in one of the local towns and we always provide the banner so I will be seeing him there with his work role being crime prevention officer and me as domestic violence outreach worker. Not going to jump over the moon that he has contacted me just going to play it cool and enjoy myself as I have girlfriends taking me out to lunch and dinner so will be too busy. Anyway, I think to get over hurt you have to go through it and yes 5 days of non stop crying actually is better than bottled emotions. Gets it out quicker and sheds layers fast. Keeping it cool so that she does not get wind of us talking. That way she will hopefully leave him be. Ha ha lol. Pyschopath that she is.
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reader, korculan queen +, writes (20 April 2008):
korculan queen is verified as being by the original poster of the questionMandy thank you so much for your advice. I am really struggling not to contact him and I am waiting to see what he does ie when he contacts me as the ball is in his court. I said I would wait 8 weeks but I could not guarantee what the future holds for me. I am a highly attractive woman and have many good qualities and loyalty, honesty and affection is what I have given him and he has to me. She just wont stop pushing him and it has worked in him pushing me away cause she knows that I wont take her crap. Just waiting for the results from the police as to where the phone was purchased from and the sim card and also if the phone was purchased with a card or cash. If cash I have got buckleys of securing a conviction but if she was stupid enough to use eftpos then they have got her. I had to change my landline number and can only lean on God more to get me through this time and hopefully bring him back to me. He basically said he knows he is hurting me and after this is all over then he wants to see me. He obviously wants me to know that he cant give me anything at the moment cause she has taken everything from him but I have said to him that he has ALLOWED HER TO DO THIS TO HIM. I will wait and see and keep you posted. I am at the crying not eating stage at the moment but I am a strong woman and if I do not hear from him once in eight weeks then I will move on. It is so hard though as my children really like him and I really like him and he is the first guy that has not tried to dominate and control me. Thank you Mandy. Plan to pull out all my I love Lucy specials and watch them for a laugh to take my mind off things. Went to the movies yesterday with the children so I am getting out there and not just sitting at home crying. Wont let her have that satisfaction. Went out with my girlfriend and had three guys approach me one was a german backpacker who was 10 years younger than me and good to go but I resisted the temptation as I am not that kind of girl. He better move fast though or risk losing me.
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 April 2008): Hi Hunny
I do feel so much for you, He may have so much on his mind that all this has got to much, It isnt fair on you at all, She really has done her best hasnt she. He needs to get cusdody of the children and hopefully she will be caught soon with all the stuff she has done, I can only say to you Im praying for you and I hope he realises what you have done for him and how you have suffered through this and he comes to his senses and sorts her out as he should have done a long time ago by going to the police, He needs closure from this woman the children can see there mother but hopefully the police will have her arrested soon and then all the truth will come out and you can I pray get on with your life sweetheart GOD BLESS HUNNY WITH MUCH LOVE MANDY XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
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reader, korculan queen +, writes (19 April 2008):
korculan queen is verified as being by the original poster of the questionUpdate her harassment of me extends to now calling me from a payphone. She did this a couple of weeks ago cause he took off fishing and cause she couldnt contact him she rang me. The night before he rang me and was on the phone with me for 5 minutes and his mobile rang then his landline beeped indicating incoming then his mobile then his landline then his mobile then his landline. At least 10 times in 5 minutes and emails as well. He said sorry and that he had to hang up and speak with her or she would ring all night. When I saw him two days later I said I was going to give him space as I did not want to lose him and 1 of us needs to give him space and although she should I said to him that at some point he needs to set a boundary with her or risk losing me totally. The trouble is he sent an email saying he still wants to be friends and if I am single in two months then who knows. He stated that he wanted more than just sex with me and that for the next 2 months he has to concentrate full time on the custody battle. Sounds good and he is a gentleman but is he just brushing me off. I understand what he is going through but it does not make it easy on me. Have not called him for four days now and it seems like 4 years. we got on so well and enjoyed the most fabulous times. Now nothing. Is he saying he wishes the dispute would be over now or is he saying goodbye to me because he is committment phobic. Help please.
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 April 2008): I think, there is plenty of men out there with out all this bagagge so I would leave all of them to get on with it
Kim UK
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 April 2008): Hi There,
This is Anon here, I really didn't mean to cause offence, I understand you've been through an awful lot and from your new post can see that even more.
My earlier answer was simply trying to say that in the light of all that you and your children have been through, and are still going through it seems, do you really need all the hassle that your new boyfriend's baggage is bringing into your life?
My suggestion about moving was only that, a suggestion, if it's not possible due to your (awful sounding) ex Im sorry to hear that, although the things you say about that in your message are yet more examples of why you and your kids really don't need this woman plaguing your life as well.
My Dad was in Australia in the 90s, he's a violent alcoholic and has been married several times. He met a lovely woman who had twin boys, and who had just got out of a terrible relationshop herself, and had won custody of the twins. When she got together with my Dad, who I love but who has such bad problems, his drinking caused her ex to win back custody of the twins and she lost them.
She was so in love with my Dad that she let them go, and 5 years later my Dad moved on and left her, and she was left with nothing.
If things are so frail with your ex threatening all these things, I would be worrying that this ex of your boyfriend was going to jeapordise my kids safety and also my custody rights.
Your new boyfriend sounds lovely, as do you, but if you were not seeing him then the ex would have no reason to hound you, unfair as it is, maybe it would be best for you and the kids to call it a day with him?
I don't mean to soun harsh, I just really don't think you need the hassle, and you've only been with him for 6 months and from what you have said, if you stay with him, this ex of his is going to make your lives hell, and the authorities are not going to do anything about it.
I wish you lots and lots of luck xx
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female
reader, korculan queen +, writes (3 April 2008):
korculan queen is verified as being by the original poster of the questionAnonymous I have thought of moving but I have moved already 4 times in 3 years due to my ex and he had it in family court that I am not allowed to move more than an hour away so basically I am trapped from really getting away. Also my job is permanent and I am a sole parent to four small children. I just feel that by me having to change does not change the perpertrators and just feeds further into their need for power and control. I sent my ex a email stating I wished to change my landline but was not going to abide by the order and give him the new number and requesting that we mediate to change this specific issues part of the order requesting my landline. His response was change it then turned to I will take you to family court if I move away. I did not mention moving just that I wanted to do a simple thing and change my number. In a normal situation this is what I would have done ages ago to prevent the 26 calls recieved by me to work and my landline and my mobile. However, in a domestic violence situation my ex partner does not give me the freedom that others have normally and it has taken all my strength to fortify my boundaries with him. Family court in Australia does not recognise the effects of dv on children or ex partners even though they claim to. Where dv is present child safety say if the woman does not leave then they will take the children away. If the woman leaves then the perpetrator goes to family court and family court say that it is in the childrens best interests that they see their abuser. Alone without the mother to protect them. So you see we have two systems in place which counteract the other and do not work together. I spent some quality time with my children last night at the school fancy dress and enjoyed it immensely and my son sat next to me and said Mum do you wish dad was here? I said not really but how do you feel mate. His response I don't wish he was he was here because he is scary. He plays murder in the dark with me and I don't like him scaring me. Family court say it is in the childrens best interests to basically see their father so he can abuse them further basically. He has thrown a phone book at my other sons nose making it bleed and my sons response was next time dad throws a book at me I will duck. This same son broke his foot at dads and when he cried he called him a poofter. My 10 year old girl came home and asked me what a poofter meant. He has allegedly abused one of my daughters the 8 year old and they still have to go to him. I tried to stop that in family court and was told the children would go to him permanently unless I gave him contact. I had to sell our house to protect them as family court is a very expensive measure and they still have to go to him. So basically my children have further abuse ordered by the very court meant to protect them. Child safety have labelled me as a vindictive ex wife rather than seeing me as a mother trying to protect her children. Ok do you understand now anonymous?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 March 2008): Hey sweetie,
I think you are letting this really get out of hand. To volunteer all your spare time in case she tries to blame you for something is crazy. You can't live like that and neither can your children.
You have taken a step back from your relationship with your boyfriend, you've logged everything with the police so I recommend just trying to forget her and living as normal as possible.
If she accuses you of something, you have everything on your side, and if the police in your area have been laid back towards your complaints about her so far, then their not going to be anymore responsive to her, and she will be lying anyway!
I think for you own and your children's sake, you need to concentrate on them, not on your boyfriend, not on this ex of his, and also, a little less on your vounteer work as well. I think you need to focus on your kids who have already suffered enough, and who are probably suffering though the drama of this current scenario, which you seem intent on allowing to dominate your life.
Have you though of moving?
Just a thought!
Good luck x
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 March 2008): You need to make sure that you are seen, get help from friends as much as possible, and get friends to phone you at all times of the day and night to have the proof from phone records. If you can go to a advocate to note everything that has happened and tell them of your concerns, This way your covering yourself in ways that you have always got that written proof hunny.. Talk with work colleagues that you can trust to get all the back up you can hunny, Look at every possibilty to cover yourself my prayers are with you for you and your children, PLEASE KEEP IN TOUCH WITH LOVE AND PRAYERS MANDY XXXXXXXXXXXX
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reader, korculan queen +, writes (30 March 2008):
korculan queen is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks Mandy. I feel I know that her next move will be to fake an injury to herself or her property and blame me for it. That way the police will arrest me not her so I have written a letter to work stating that I will volonteer all free time to them so that I have an alibi for my whereabouts. Hey maybe even getting a gps tracking device for me so I have further proof of where I am at all times. I rang my partner on the weekend and he said he was going to get drunk at a friends place ie so she couldn't contact him so obviously it has affected him me giving him space and he said he would send me an email today to let me know his thoughts on the matter. I feel he is angry with her but backed into a corner. It such a shame because he is the most caring wonderful man and we deserve each other. It's in the Lord's hands now.
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 March 2008): Oh hunny
Ive been there Ive had to change my name my daughters name, Hunny this woman is pure evil you on the other hand are an angel who has tryed her best to stay in a situation that I no can slowly kill you all the pain this woman has caused, And to have to drop charges when you no she is in the wrong, The police said the same to me when I phoned scared to death unless he doed something what can we do..untill he did then they got awarded with medals for bravery for saving me...just intime I may add. It didnt take the pain of all the past experience away that I asked for help with... GO FIGURE!!!!!!!you have my prayers hunny WITH LOTS OF LOVE AND PRAYERS MANDY XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
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reader, korculan queen +, writes (30 March 2008):
korculan queen is verified as being by the original poster of the questionUpdate on the situation. On Friday my partner left work early to go fishing with mates overnight to get away from the stress. I sent him a text to see how he was and as soon as I sent it the phone rang so I picked it up but it was her so I let rip and told her what I thought of her before she hung up. She is now calling from payphones so will be impossible to get a trace if she uses different phones every time. To top it off I rang the police and there reaction is well if she is not saying anything then what are you worried about. They basically said that until she does something even though she has a phone in my name there is nothing they can do. So I said if she kills me or maims me will you remember that I came to you for help and you turned me away. So I have decided to release my partner from added pressure from me and to just let her have free reign to wreck his life as my children were home and scared for me and all the phone calls. So I am dropping the charges, she can keep the phone in my name and I am going to change my name and go back to family court and request an exemption from having to give my ex husband my phone numbers and that all communication can be done via email only. I am really grieving now but went to communion and the message was to forgive your enemies so that you can be forgiven. So I am just letting go and hoping that the Lord will return my partner back to me. Linda.
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 March 2008): Hunny I understand you 100% you keep up that good work domestic violence nearly killed me and you are doing a great job, My son was abused not by a family member but still hurts, Time has healed my scars hunny but I would fight for what I believe in just as you are doing now..I understand about the police alarm although its a shame as your def not minor priority its the way the system works in your counry...I wish you all the luck and love in the world hunny your doing a terrific job TAKE CARE WITH LOTS OF LOVE MANDY XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
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reader, korculan queen +, writes (26 March 2008):
korculan queen is verified as being by the original poster of the questionAs for a police arm mandy female stalkers really are low priority in Australia even though you and I both know that their potential for escalation is much the same as it is for males although the issue of rape is non exsistent with female stalkers. Unfortunately with the police while they take my case on board their experience tends to cloud their judgement and they tend to classify cases on a level of priority. Because they have seen alot worse they sort of downgrade or downplay my case as minor. I know by looking at characteristics of stalkers she has 15 of the 18 points in her mindset. The other poster statement that I should just give up and walk away from my partner while plausible would be JUST WHAT SHE WANTS! Basically she does not want him to be happy and wants to be in control of his life. I am from a Croatian Korculan background and very strong culture to not put up with crap. To give up on him now would mean she wins and she would not stop her harrassment of me at all. We are all responsible for our own actions and I am seeing this through for that very reason that I want her to be held accountable for identity theft, stalking, harrassment. My new partner is nothing like my ex. The complete opposite and I did spend 2 and a half years on my own healing so that the next partner I chose was not a carbon copy. His ex is a carbon copy of my ex. She is a female perpetrator of domestic and family violence. Once the monitoring results of this phone come through I will push for a police assisted domestic violence order against her with me as a listed associate on my partner's order. I grew up in dv, marrried into dv and now work as a dv worker. Anonymous might think this as being a glutton for punishment but it is actually been my dream since I was a little girl to protect and save other women and children from living with dv. As a girl I never gave up on my dream and am living my dream every day at work. I won't give up on him as he is really sweet and treats me with the utmost respect. His reason for going to the party at her house is 1 to see his twins on their birthday and 2 to prevent her from telling the boys that he doesn't care about them if he does not show up. I know she is controlling the situation and her new partner will be there. I would love to go with him in support of him but I know that will not go down too well. She does not need much to get revved up. She has picked on the wrong woman though as I won't stand for crap.Yes I am keeping a diary and next week I should have the results back from the police investigation as they had a murder to tend to today so understandebly were swamped. Anyway, keep you all posted and thankyou so much for your replies. Very well written.Another reason I choose to stay with him is because one of my daughters was abused by her father, my ex and she does not trust any males and most females. My new partner she trusts totally and to see my little girl feel safe in the presence of him is really good to see.
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 March 2008): Oh Hunny
She doest care about anyone but herself love, This is scarey stuff hunny, I hope your keeping that diary..I no you have loads of info but a diary of day to day things said is a good idea, I had to write down every word my ex said to me..I no were you are right now and I am praying and hoping that she will get caught very soon. You said you found the dog dead love have you had it checked out how the dog died..As you say I would be more than wanting to no that one..She is beyond evil this woman its completely psychotic..She is the one who shouldnt have those children.Have you managed to get some sort of police alarm hunny?...if you need a chat at anytime hunny message me TAKE CARE SWEETHEART WITH LOVE AND PRAYERS MANDY XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 March 2008): Hi There,
I have to say that after reading about all you have gone through with your abusive ex, Im surprised you are now putting up with such heavy drama in your current relationship, and after only having been with him for six months?
My feeling is that you and your kids have been though such a lot together that perhaps you should be considering how all of this new this drama with your guy's ex is going to affect you all.
I would step back, and what is he doing being all matey with her after all she is doing? He needs to be more of a man about it all, or your always going to have this crazy woman in your life.
Think of your kids and yourself Sweetie, I think you should seriously question if this relationship is worth putting yourself and your kids through all this drama.
Good luck, and sorry to be harsh, I just think it sounds like you're taking on and dealing with far more of this than is healthy, and for the sake of peace and stability for your children, you should perhaps cut your losses and find someone new, with less damaging baggage.
Im sure your guy is lovely but you and your children don't deserve to be in what sounds like a very dangerous situation, that appears to be worsening at the mercy of this crazy woman, and you've only been going out with him for 6 months?
You need to think of your kids here, big time, and put their safety and emotional security first.
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reader, korculan queen +, writes (26 March 2008):
korculan queen is verified as being by the original poster of the questionupdate The investigation is still continuing into the pre paid mobile identity theft. One of the numbers rung on this phone was a direct line to a bank I do not bank with in a town I don't live in but I did bank with them years ago and the scary thing is that my address details and my phone number from 7 years ago is on this banks database and this 7 year old phone number was the number quoted as my drivers licence number. Will keep you all informed of the results. Still getting hang up calls now on my mobile and still getting them traced. My new partner's dog was found dead yesterday when he got home from work. Coincidence or something more. I do not know but he had the kids so I am guessing she will make something of this ie the emotional trauma of seeing the dog dead and also maybe make some comment like can't look after your dog how can you look after kids? I suspect foul play myself. She has just got a huge cash payout from him and has been her nasty self sending him nasty emails nightly yet has invited him to her house to have a joint party for the boys this Saturday. Obviously so I can not be a part of the boys birthday. Control and power. Anyway, can't wait for her to get caught. Driving me nuts.
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 March 2008): I do and I would hassle the victims support for a police alarm! The more they no the better for you hunny and the safer for you and the children, Never give up untill they listen and help you.. Then her name will be well known and hopefully with prayers things will get better...Make it known write it down and dont stop untill they no you mean business and realise just what danger you are in xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
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reader, korculan queen +, writes (4 March 2008):
korculan queen is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you all for your responses. Mandy you helped me heaps went to the link you suggested. The sanction the other woman spoke about is a justice examination order in Australia.She has accused my partner of abusing his kids then when the kids without any word from them, then when that didn't work she rang him and said she was moving away when he wanted to buy a block of land in town and wanted him to buy a house where she was moving to. He said no I am not leaving my job. Then she put out some order to freeze all his assets and bank accounts.This phone in my name is just a continuum of these other things. On the note of her accusing him she said to him prior to making the accusation that she was jealous of the bond he had with his boys and felt he was a better parent. So you see how much danger we both are in and her children.
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 March 2008): I'm not sure where you live but I do know that in the UK there are anti-stalking laws. Having her arrested for fraud is good, but she's harrassing you and your partner and she needs to be arrested for this. Stalking is a symptom of mental illness, and if she's threatening to harm you then you could see whether you could get her sectioned (I'm not sure what this is called anywhere else, but in the UK it's where somebody is apprehended in a mental institution without their consent. It's only used in cases where the person being apprehended is a danger to themselves or others). It is bizarre behaviour and it needs to be dealt with forcefully by the law. The stress it must be putting on your relationship with your partner not to mention the kids is unacceptable. Call the police and insist they do something to remedy the situation.
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 March 2008): Hi Hunny
Third time lucky computor breakdown!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I understand your fear my ex husband tryed to kill me I had more than 7 injunctions police alarms all around the house directly to them, between 20-50 phone calls round the clock and he was with another partner, ill is not the word..She is a controlling bitch who does not want to see your b/f happy in any way even though she was the one that left....VICTIM SUPPORT
http://www.lawlink.nsw.gov.au/lawlink/victimsservices/ll_vs.nsf/pages/VS_communityagencies
They helped me so much hunny I no it different in different countrys but its worth a shot! write everything down in a diary, dates and times keep a log on everything, I cant belive she still has her job after what she has done and counselling inmates bloody hell id be on the phone to the police untill they did something about that one, If you need a chat hunny message me GOOD LUCK TO YOUR FAMILY TAKE CARE OF YOU WITH LOVE AND PRAYERS MANDY XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
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female
reader, red1982  +, writes (4 March 2008):
Oh my god, I'm not surprised you are scared, she sounds like a complete nutter. My sister was stalked by her ex boyfriend for nearly two years before moving to a refuge - and he then managed to get an injunction out on her for harrassing him, lots of evidence from his friends and a stab wound (that we assume he did to himself, or got a friend to do for him) that he accused her of. Even with all of her evidence against him from the police he was still successful with the injunction!! He has a new girlfriend also but still won't get over the fact that my sister doesn't want him anymore.
Have the police been able to give you any helpful advice? My sister was in very close contact with a british agency called victim support who helped her emotionally - do they have an equivalent in your country? At least they can help with the mental anguish. It makes it so much harder that your boyfriend has children with this woman as you can't just move (I know it sounds extreme but my sister is finally becoming herself again despite giving up her house and all her belongings, just knowing that he cannot find her.)
I don't really know what else to advise you, except to keep a diary of everything that happens and try your best to keep yourself safe. Hopefully she will go to prison for the fraud offence.
Take care of yourself
xxx
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