A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I having been dating this guy for 3monts and we are planning to get married early next year. Everything has been going well until myboyfriend's ex come saying she is 3months pregnant and if my boyfriend doesnt want to marry her then she can have an abortion but my boyfriend is saying no coz its against his religion.He just promise he will pay damage to the girl's family but wont marry her and we will carry on with our plans.The problem is i dont want to looze him or leave him because of that but i dont know what to from here ...pliz help me
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 December 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI jus wana 2 shout a big thanx 2 those who answear my question so far so gud with your help
A
male
reader, RAINORFIRE  +, writes (21 December 2011):
 I dont think your moving to fast. If you love him marry him. Love doesn't have time frames. Adam fell in love with Eve on the first day they met.
Im curious what his religion is. Most religions are against abortions but their also against premarital sex. it seems like this guy is just picking and choosing witch of his religious doctrines to adhere to.
He needs to stop throwing up the veil of religion when its convenient. He probably doesn't want her to have an abortion because he wants his child,he should be a man and just admit that. saying he doesnt want her to have an abortion because of his religion is a cop out im sure his ex wouldnt even be pregnant if he was adhering to his religion and I think many men like fathering children with women for the same reason men put flags on mountain tops and moons.
It sounds like his ex wants to have an abortion out of spite. If hes agreeing to pay for everything then she has no financial reason to go through with it.
Theres nothing you can do but way till it plays out
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A
female
reader, Ciar  +, writes (21 December 2011):
 I agree you're moving way too fast. That's not to say it won't work out between you both, but it would increase the odds if you took some time to really get to know each other. This is a big life decision you're making here.
Frankly, I would not marry anyone who had unfinished business with an ex. In fact this would be an ideal opportunity to see what he's realy made of. He can talk the grand talk about being there for his child, but until you see it happen, it's all talk.
I suggest you postpone the wedding. Let him sort of this stuff out. Quietly watch him in action and then make a decision.
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A
female
reader, littlegray +, writes (21 December 2011):
You've only been dating this man for three months and you want to marry him already? Sweetheart, that's moving way too fast. You don't know him all that well yet, and I would highly suggest waiting on marriage.
It isn't all that uncommon for men and women to have children out of marriage, but I'm sure that it must be emotionally hard for you to know that your boyfriend is going to be a father. I would suggest waiting on this one too to not only try and sort your feelings for this boy out, but also to see how things pan out between him and his ex. I know you don't want to lose him, and you don't have to. I'd just keep an eye on the situation.
But seriously, wait on getting married. I only personally know of one marriage that has endured with the bride and groom dating for less than a year and it is extremely abusive from both parties. They didn't know each other well enough, but it's against their religion to divorce. I don't know what your boyfriend's religion is, but it's something to consider.
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