A
female
age
36-40,
*ouble
writes:I fancied this lad from work for eight months but was too scared to ask him out but recently we have been texting and arranged to meet up and he told me he really liked me and has done for ages but was too scared to ask me out. Anyway we had sex and are meeting up again this week, i really like him and he says he feels the same and wants to take it further. The only thing is his ex girlfriend is pregnant with his baby and he says he wants to be part of the babys life but never wants to get back with the mother which i belive but what if he feels different when the baby comes and i've been hurt so much in the past i dont want to get strong feelings for him , which im sure i will do, for him too mess me around. I just dont know whether to go for it and see what happens or end it now before it goes too far. Please help me!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 November 2007): End it now quick. C'mon you know this guy is bad news. You don't want to start dating someone with so much baggage. That's lame. And how would your parents and friends feel knowing that you are dating some irresponsible guy who left his pregnant girlfriend and is now dating you. I mean the guy is such a massive loser.
And people like that bring you down and make you look bad. You don't want to be associated with him. Stay away from him. Maybe you are one of those who is compassionate of guys with problems, but you shouldn't be. Look out for yourself and expose yourself to people who bring you up not down.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 November 2007): Your in a very difficult situation. Unfortunately he will feel different when the baby is born, it is only natural and there will be a bond between him and his ex with this child. Equally he wants to be part of the babies life, which is the responsible thing, but that will mean that you will have to handle alot of emotions which will take it's toll on you.
If this relationship is in it's early stages then it is a good time now to think about what you will want from this relationship and whether it will be that easy. He sounds like a decent guy in wanting to be there for the child which is something you should admire. That is his life tho darling not necessarily yours. Is it something you will be able to handle. He will visit the child, spend time with the ex, you'll feel a little bit second best at times and it all gets a bit complicated. If you want to be with him then you have to take all of the other stuff into consideration and have that in your life as well. It can be hard but also work. It becomes about what you are looking for in a relationship and whether he is worth the hassle at your age.
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A
female
reader, clh91 +, writes (28 November 2007):
 i'd maybe not take the relationship too far untl the baby is born.
if he says he won't then maybe believe him but don't get to attached coz some men change their minds and then you'll get hurt.
which isn't gd for you.
i'd take it slow and after 1 or so months after the baby is born then maybe you can relax and see where you go from there.
hope i helped :)
feel free to mail message me about anything if you wanna chat
xxx
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