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female
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anonymous
writes: Hi all, I have asked for advice before. I feel i am going out of my mind. My boyfriend and i have been together for almost 2 years now. We are really happy, apart from his ex. She just wont let go, even though she didnt want him. She keeps making up lies and is always making herself ill, she has lost a ton of weight.He has said she can have everything, and he will always support her fiancially,which i agree he should. But the worse thing is she is trying to turn my boyfriends kids against him they are 16 and 20, and he loves them so much. We are trying to be strong but its getting harder and harder.I cant understand why she is doing this, there marriage was terrible. Why would she want him back, when there is no love there. He has told her in front of me that he loves me, and always will. Will this eventually end, even her parents are making our lives hell.....please advise someone
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 November 2006): Ok, I have advice you might not like...get over it. It will, most likely will never stop. I will tell you from experience 10 years of hell on earth SHE WILL NOT GO AWAY EVEN IF SHE REMARRIES AND IS SUPPOSIVELY HAPPY. My husband and I have been dealing with his ex that long. It got to the point of having to call the cops on her for stalking. But because they have children together she told the cop it was their visitation day and even after I let them talk to my husband and he told them it wasnt they did nothing. They chalked it up to Domestic Disturbance. I was insulted. We have moved to get away for her and she followed us. She dumped her first husband when I finally had enough and left him for 10 months and she tried to move in with him. Now she is getting another divorce because she doesnt want to move away from my husband till his children are over the age of 18. The freakin mans mother gave them 10 acres and took her plans and made the house for her. Talk about Psychotic. When I moved away, out of state she called my house almost every day to laugh at me.
I know what I am saying is horrifying by in todays world when you marry him and he has children you might as well be marrying the damm ex too.
A
female
reader, DEBS83  +, writes (24 October 2006):
 iam hving the same problem what your bloke as to do is cut her out of his life i know he as gt kids with her but there are older enough to see him etc wthout there mum also as she met anyone else as u may find that is wen she will stop and let go she may feel hurt seeing him happy wth you hv you been to see a solitor about her and her family she carnt carry on like this hope you sort this mess out goodluck
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 October 2006): She is doing this because she can. Plus her own life could and likely is very lonely and empty, thus causing her to be a bitter woman. Your bf has to be strong and cut off all contact to her. If he has children with her, the only time they need to confer is when issues regarding their children crop up. As for his children, they are old enough to make their own choices about whether or not they want to associate with their father (your bf). Your bf should let them know, irregardless of how they feel about him, that as their father, they can come to him anytime they need love and support. That is all your bf can do. Tell your bf not to say one bad word about thier Mother. Toria is correct. In the end, his kids will see the light and they will make their way back into their father's life. As for the ex, if she continues putting down your bf, she may end up losing her own sons. She is acting very selfish and very embittered. I am sorry this is happening to your bf, but if he's positive, patient and understanding...his sons will come back to him someday.
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A
male
reader, Lostandalone  +, writes (24 October 2006):
 It seems to me he is allowing her to make your life "hell". He only has to speak to her for the 16 year old and if the 20 year old isn't adult enough to see what's going on then he needs to grow up. If she loses enough weight to become transparent its not his problem and as long as he shows a bit of concern he will keep getting roped into her drama. You need to tell him to get his priorities in order. Right now its you and that 16 year old. She's an adult and they are divorced. Tough love is the best way to go in this case.
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A
female
reader, Toria +, writes (24 October 2006):
 If his kids are grown up I don't see why he is still supporting her financially and even if they weren't he should be supporting them not her, all the time he is allowing her to rely on him for things the more she is going to play a big part in your lives he needs to break this cycle with her his kids are both old enough to make their own choices now and she shouldn't be feeding them with her dislike of you as all she will end up doing is turning them either against him and you or backfire and turn against her.
He needs to allow her to support herself and therefore make a proper life for herself with him just being the father of her children.
Good luck :o)
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